Per Diem
by Squatta
Summary: Hiroshi has always lived a life of mediocrity. One day, a man moves to his home island that ends up making his life not so average. He also can't help but realize how much he begins to enjoy this change. HiroSei.
1. Chapter 1

Every day was the same. Wake up, go to school, help around the house, attempt homework, go to sleep. Maybe on the weekends he could go fishing or go to the beach. Sometimes Tama and Miwa or someone from school would have some plans and invite him along. Other than that, life was pretty mediocre. Everything was mediocre in Hiroshi's life. His grades, his looks, his hobbies - everything. Even his parents were average in everything they did. No matter how hard he tried to break the mold of mediocrity, the results were still the same.

It wasn't that he disliked living on the small island - it really felt like home. But he couldn't help but wonder if there was more to life than just this country lifestyle he had been living since he was born. He was in his last year of high school now - now more than ever would be the best opportunity to see what was lying outside the island. He pretty much assumed that's what he'd be doing once he graduated. But his parents never left the island - so would he? Some days it seemed like he was almost too comfortable with the repetitive mediocrity of his life. After all, that's how it had always been. Nothing changing, nothing new, everything the same.

"That old abandoned house is gettin' a new tenant?" Hiroshi asked, mildly surprised that someone in their right mind would actually move to this island. The house had been abandoned for years and he knew it was the prime hangout spot for Miwa, Tama, and sometimes the village scamp, Naru, after school.

"Tha's right. Some sorta writer, even! Or, so I heard," his father replied lightheartedly.

"I doubt that..." Hiroshi went back to eating his food.

"I wonder if he's handsome!" His mother sighed.

Hiroshi was slightly curious about the new addition to the island, but he was sure it was just someone's relative coming to stay for a while. Something like that. He didn't really want to bother with new people, though. Sometimes city folk came down, expecting to get a view of the countryside as something of a novelty, but they were all just burdens with their ignorance of how life in the country really worked. He didn't have time to deal with someone like that. They were just a pain.

* * *

><p>"Sensei! I brought somen today!" Hiroshi opened up the rickety door to the old wood building that he had visited so many times before. "Sensei?" He said again, looking around the empty room. Ink, papers, and brushes lay a strewn across the floor.<p>

'_Maybe Sensei is taking a nap,'_ Hiroshi thought. He made his way into the kitchen to set the somen in the fridge, maybe he'd leave a note saying that he delivered the food.

As he walked into the kitchen, he noticed the door leading outside to the backyard was open. Curious, Hiroshi set the somen aside and peaked out to see the man who lived in the house, curiously staring up at the clouds.

"Sensei? What're you doin'?" Hiroshi questioned.

The man jumped a bit in surprised and looked over at Hiroshi, a bit of embarrassment crossed his face.

"Ah, Hiro, I didn't hear you," the man walked over to Hiroshi with a slight smirk.

Handa Seishuu moved into the village a few months ago. He was a bit of a strange guy, coming from the big city of Tokyo to this little island. At first, Hiroshi didn't want anything to do with him. But looking at the situation now, somehow Handa had wormed his way into his life. This applied to pretty much the entire village. It was a small place, after all - it was hard not knowing everyone in town and their business.

Handa was just... One of those types you couldn't leave alone, even if you wanted to.

"Gettin' some inspiration from the sky? Or just burnin' your retinas?" Hiroshi paled as he watched Handa walk into his house. The calligrapher was always doing things that were a bit strange.

"N-Nothing like that!" Handa flustered. Oh yeah, it was easy to rile him up too.

"Whatever ya say. Anyway, mom made some somen so dig in," Hiroshi pointed towards the bowl he had set on the counter.

"Ahhh, this will be perfect for a hot day like today! Tell your mother I said thank you!" Handa gleefully eyed the bowl of food.

"Of course I will. You know her - she's pretty much doin' this all for the praise," Hiroshi went into the cupboards and got out two bowls and two pairs of chopsticks.

He didn't know exactly when it happened, but he had gotten into the habit of eating his meals with Handa on occasion. His mother seemed to have noticed as she would sometimes send Hiroshi over with a portion large enough to feed the two of them. She probably just enjoyed the fact that Hiroshi was getting out of the house. After all, Hiroshi didn't really do many social things outside of school and baseball. Sometimes he'd entertain the kids in the village, but most of the time he preferred staying in to play a game or read manga. If he did go out he liked doing things like fishing, which was more of a solitary sport.

But ever since Handa came to the island, Hiroshi wasn't as solitary as he used to be. It seemed like every week he was getting roped up into something concerning him and going along with it, mostly with Miwa and Tama's incessant nagging to tag along.

Handa began eating his portion happily and Hiro did likewise.

Many times they barely even talked during their lunch. Hiroshi might ask how Handa was doing with his calligraphy or Handa might ask Hiroshi how school was going and that was about it. It was a lot more lively if one of the girls were over - sometimes Hiroshi felt like he wasn't sure how to deal with Handa when they were alone together, but oddly enough the atmosphere between the two never became awkward.

Handa seemed to treat Hiroshi a little differently than the other people that frequented his house. He always acted more friendly towards him while he would always shoo the other visitors out of the house like pests. Hiroshi didn't know if this was because he was the one that brought him food or if it was because he was the closest to Handa in age. At 18 he was only four years younger than Handa, so Hiroshi felt like maybe the calligrapher felt a sense of brotherhood with someone that wasn't too young or too old.

"Where's Naru today?" Hiro asked, slurping up a noodle.

"Ah, I think she said she was going to a bug catching contest today. Something Kentarou and the others thought up, I guess. It's fine with me - I finally got some peace and quiet today - although I'm never sure when Miwa or Tama will show up..." Handa tapped the side of his bowl.

"I know Tama went inta town today but I ain't so sure about Miwa. Prob'ly sleeping in since its a day off 'n all," Hiroshi replied.

Handa sighed, "I still wasn't very productive today despite this rare opportunity."

Handa seemed to be sinking into the floor with the thought of this and Hiroshi wondered if Handa would have one of his dramatic episodes. Despite his brashness, Handa was a pretty a sensitive guy.

"Well, you still got the rest of the day," Hiroshi attempted to soften the blow to Handa's ego.

"But its only a matter of time until Naru comes sneaking into the house," Handa mumbled.

Hiroshi knew all too well that if he let this slump get the best of him, Handa could end up getting worse and worse by the minute.

"You was lookin' at clouds, right, sensei?" Hiroshi asked, trying to be of some assistant.

"Err, well," Handa scratched his head, "I just thought maybe I could get some inspiration from the sky?"

"But it ain't somethin' as simple as that, right?"

Handa thought for a moment, chewing on his food. He swallowed and looked down at his empty bowl. "You're right..." He mumbled. "But I'm just so frustrated that I can't even get inspired when I have this peace and quiet..."

"Maybe it ain't the peace n' quiet you need," Hiroshi shrugged, standing up to collect his and Handa's bowls.

"Huh?" Handa turned around to see Hiroshi walking towards the kitchen.

"You're always gettin' your moments of inspiration when you least expect it, right?" Hiroshi continued. "There've been a lotta times when you just up an' go hollerin' about some idea while you're tendin' to the kids and whatnot, sayin' that ya hafta go home an' start writin'."

"Huh... Is that so..." Handa never really thought of it that way.

"An' then you go an' write somethin' amazing as if it were nothin'," Hiro said as he scrubbed the bowls. He really admired Handa, but it was something he'd never admit to his face. But it was natural to compliment him on his writing once in a while - his calligraphy never failed to impress him.

"Hehe... They aren't _that_ great," Handa gloated. Hiroshi could tell that Handa was currently reveling in the praise.

"Maybe you just gotta not think too hard 'bout it," Hiroshi set the last dish aside to dry, picking up the empty bowl that the somen had been in and turned around. "Anyways, I'm gonna head back for now."

"Oh, alright," Handa got up to see Hiroshi off, "Tell your mom the somen was great! Ah, and it was pretty nice having lunch without any interruptions. Usually there's company over, but its rare that it's just the two of us, isn't it? I have to thank you for your advice... I guess it is pretty nice to have a chat with someone close to my age once in a while." Handa's face glowed with the contentment of a full stomach and possibly from the conversation and the rare chance to have a relaxing meal.

"Yeah..." Hiroshi still wasn't very used to Handa's gratuity over little things. One time all he did was bring him some extra ink and the man nearly fainted in excitement. Hiroshi guessed there were still a lot of things about Handa that didn't make much sense to him.

Hiroshi waved to Handa, the large bowl in the other hand as he made his way back home. He sighed as he realized all the housework that was waiting for him when he got back. It was so comfortable just sitting at Handa's house that he had almost forgotten.

* * *

><p><strong>End of Chapter.<strong>

So I ended up falling in love with Barakamon and even more in love with this pairing, so I think it was inevitable that I would write a fic for them. It was probably Tama's influence! I hope you enjoy this story, I think the chapters will be a bit shorter than what I usually write since I hope to update this only a couple days apart since I don't think this will end up being too terribly long (but who knows). I really want to keep it simple so I'll try not to stress over the fact that there's about 10 volumes of the manga yet so little is translated. Not everything has to be so strict to canon, I guess? Especially for a story with not many flares. Okay, I'm ranting as usual! Thank you so much for reading, see you next time!


	2. Chapter 2

It was a long day. Hiroshi was exhausted. It started off with him waking up late, then he realized he forgot his lunch after he had already arrived at school. It didn't take long for his homeroom teacher to bring up the big subject every senior had to be a victim of - their future careers. Hiroshi knew that after this year he'd be expected to be a full-fledged adult, something he was unsure how exactly was going to happen. Everything in his life was so average that he never really had a job in mind - it wasn't like he was particularly _good_ at anything.

His talk with his guidance counselor didn't help at all. When Hiroshi said he wasn't sure about what he wanted to do for a career and said he would consider college, his counselor agreed and said he'd 'be good for a local college'. A local college? Hiroshi had always imagined that he'd probably get off this island one way or another, but would he really ever make it off if he just settled for a local college? But maybe that was all he was good for, could he even make it in a big city like Tokyo? Well, Handa was from Tokyo, and if a guy like him lived there all his life it couldn't be _that_ bad, right?

But Hiroshi didn't catch much of a break when he got to baseball practice and sprained his wrist. It wasn't a bad sprain, one that would heal in a few days, but it didn't help his mood at all and he arrived home brooding over all the events that happened that day and just wanted to take a bath and lie down.

"Hiro, can you deliver this champon to Sensei, please?" Hiroshi didn't even have his shoes off when his mom came walking up to the front door with a large bowl in hand.

Hiroshi huffed in frustration, "I just got home, ma! Can't you jus' take it yourself today?"

The cheerful smile on his mother's face faded into a grimace, "It's not gonna be so much trouble to spend a few minutes takin' this to Sensei! Don't you know why I make this food for him? As a woman, I-"

"Alright, alright, I got it!" Hiroshi didn't want to hear his mom's speil about her womanhood again.

"Good!" She changed back to her cheery mood and held the bowl out towards Hiroshi.

Hiroshi gave another irritated sigh and snatched the bowl from his mom, walking out of the house again.

The walk from his house to Handa's wasn't terribly far away, but at this point he just didn't want to deal with anyone, especially knowing that Handa probably had other visitors at the moment. He figured he'd probably just announce that he was delivering the food and leave it out on the porch for today. He didn't even feel like eating the portion that his mom obviously put in with Handa's.

"Hey, Sensei! I'm gonna leave you some champon on the porch, kay?" Hiroshi said in a loud voice and rapped on the wooden door.

Just as he was about to leave the bowl on the porch, the doors flew open.

"Hiro-nii!" Naru's voice and expression were shrill with worry.

"Wh-What is it, Naru?" He got a bit of a scare from the door opening all of a sudden.

"Sensei won't wake up! I keep a'shakin' him an' he jus' won't wake up!" Naru looked like she was nearly on the verge of tears.

"Where is he!?" Hiroshi's heart jumped a bit as he set the champon down and quickly walked into the house.

"He's in the back room!" Naru pulled at Hiroshi's hand and led him towards the room where he remembered Handa had kept all of his calligraphy sketches.

Naru slammed open the door and Hiroshi saw a body lying amongst the piles of sketches. His heart jumped to his throat.

"Hey, Sensei!" Hiroshi rushed to his side and shook him.

"He's still not wakin' up!" Naru's eyes were filling with tears.

Hiroshi kept shaking but Handa did not respond. He placed his hand in front of Handa's mouth - he felt breathing, at least that was a good sign.

"Damn, we gotta go get someone! Naru, go see if you can find an adult!" Hiroshi ordered.

"Senseiiii!" Naru was nearly in hysterics.

"Naru! You gotta hurry! Sensei might be-"

Hiroshi's sentence was cut off by a loud snort. But he and Naru looked down at the somewhat lifeless body to see Handa's mouth wide open and low, quiet snores sounding on interval.

"What the hell! He's just in some kinda deep sleep or somethin'!?" Hiroshi stood up in anger. "Oi, stupid Sensei! Wake up!" Without much thought Hiroshi kicked at Handa's side.

"Uh!" Handa lurched and grabbed his hip.

"Don't hurt Sensei! He's dyin'!" Naru began punching Hiroshi's leg.

"He ain't dyin' he prob'ly jus' worked himself to exhaustion again!" Hiroshi fumed as he watched Handa rub at his eyes in a daze.

"Uh... Hiro? What was that? It really hurt..." Handa grumbled and struggled to sit himself up.

"What was it? Me kickin' you awake!" Hiroshi couldn't believe that Handa was, again, not taking care of himself properly. He nearly thought his heart was going to stop when he saw him lying there, unmoving, and it was just a result of his stupidity.

"I was just taking a nap..." Handa mumbled. Naru sobbed onto his sleeve, muttering how she was glad he was alive.

"Yeah right! You nearly went an' killed yourself overworkin' again! What if you really hurt yourself n' neither Naru or me was here to help you, huh?"

"What the hell..." Handa grumbled as he held onto his side."I know my limits, I'm an adult! Its not like I need you yelling at me like you're my parent or something. I wasn't actually dying or anything so you didn't have to kick me so hard!" Handa shot back, obviously grumpy he got woken up in such a way.

"Whatever! Go ahead an' kill yourself like that then!" Hiroshi shouted, turning sharply and storming out of the house. He couldn't believe such carelessness. How was working yourself until you pass out 'knowing your limits'?

"Hey, Hiro!" Handa yelled after him and stood up.

Hiroshi turned back around before leaving. "And here's your stupid dinner!" He pointed towards the champon before slamming the door closed.

"If you made it, it probably tastes like crap!" Handa opened up the door and shouted after Hiroshi.

"Then you'll love it!" Hiroshi fired back, already a ways away from the house.

Handa shut the door in frustration and clicked his tongue in irritation.

"Sensei, why was Hiro-nii so mad?" Naru said from beside him, wiping at her puffy eyes.

"I dunno, teenage hormones or something? Some girl rejected him? Who knows!" Handa stomped back to the living room.

Naru watched Handa walk off and then her eyes settled on the champon.

"Will this champon really taste like poop?"

* * *

><p>Hiroshi thought a good night's rest would've helped with how crappy he felt after blowing up at Handa. Maybe it actually would've if he wasn't so restless the entire night. Almost right after storming out of the house, Hiroshi regretted how he had overreacted. He knew he was having a bad day, but it was really no excuse. He was just so concerned and Handa acted like it was no big deal. He got angry that Handa wasn't watching out for his health when the entirety of the village took such good care of him. And it really did give him a fright to see the calligrapher face down in the middle of the room...<p>

He should apologize, he really should, but he couldn't bring himself to see his face. He and Handa had gotten in little tiffs before, they were usually over silly things and got resolved easily, but this was probably the first time Hiroshi had gotten really angry with him. It was pretty much a fight.

"Stupid Sensei," Hiroshi sighed as he spaced out for the umpteenth time that day. Luckily class was just ending and he could finally head home.

"Hey, Hiro, wanna hang out tonight? We're prob'ly gonna go inta town if you wanna join."

Hiroshi was snapped from his thoughts as he noticed one of his teammates in his class had been talking to him. Occasionally he'd do something with his teammates like get a bite to eat but it usually wasn't much more than that.

"Um, no thanks, I'm pretty tired n' my ma' is real concerned 'bout my wrist n' all, so she don't want me doin' too much so it'll heal quick," Hiroshi thought up of the best excuse he could.

"Eh, lame," his teammate shrugged, "Guess next time then."

Hiroshi waved weakly as his teammate walked off. He didn't know how his fellow classmates could be so carefree this time of year. Well, he probably would be too if he hadn't resolved himself to become more serious about his future.

"Guess I'll get this project started or somethin'," Hiroshi said to himself as he lifted himself up from his seat.

Luckily, there was no baseball practice that day. It wasn't like his coach would've let him practice anyway with his sprained wrist. Hiroshi's trek home was spent worrying about his argument as well as the career sheet sitting in his backpack.

"Hiro! Please take this over to Sensei!" And once again his mother was asking him to take food over when he really didn't want to.

"Ma, I really can't today..."

"And why not?" She eyed him with a stern look.

"I just..." Hiroshi paused for a moment and let out a soft sigh. "I really can't see him right now..."

His mother's face softened a bit as she paid attention to the expressions on her son's face.

"Alright, I'll go n' deliver it today," she said and walked towards the entrance of the house.

"Eh? Ma, you don't hafta..." It was rare to see her give in so easily.

"You got a lotta homework with you bein' a senior n' all, right? Go up n' do it now, don't go slackin' off!" His mother shooed him away with her hand before turning around.

Hiroshi stood at the entrance for a moment and watched his mother leave. "Thanks, ma..." He said quietly to himself. No matter what, his mother was pretty sharp in her own ways.

* * *

><p>"Hey, ma, what's for dinner?" Hiroshi came down to the kitchen after finally completing his project. It took him nearly a week of spending hours after school locked up in his room to finish. At least his sprained wrist had healed fairly quickly.<p>

"Oh? Jus' thought I'd make some stew..." She sighed, looking forlorn as she stirred the pot.

"Is somethin' the matter?" Hiroshi asked, he rarely saw his mother in such a mood.

"I don't think Sensei likes my cookin' anymore," she sighed.

"Huh? What d'you mean? He's always sayin' it tastes good," Hiroshi still hadn't seen Handa since their argument, so that meant he hadn't been delivering food to him either. He had been so busy with his project after school that he assumed his mother was taking the meals over.

"The other day he told me there was no need to be makin' him meals anymore n' he'd be makin' them for himself from now on," his mother sulked as she continued to stir the pot. "Doesn't that make you think he don't much like my cookin' no more?'

"Hmm... I doubt that..." Hiroshi said quietly.

"He said he didn't want to be troublin' us anymore. Makin' meals for him was always the highlight of my day too," she sighed again.

Hiroshi remained silent as he thought about why Handa would do such a thing. Maybe he should go over and see why? But he still hadn't apologized... Would it really be okay to just go over and ask questions after ignoring him for a week?

He looked over at his mother who seemed to really be saddened by the absence of something so simple in her life.

"I'm gonna head out for a bit..." Hiroshi said after a few moments of silence.

"Huh? Where're you headin' off to at this time?" His mother asked.

"I jus' wanna take a little walk, 's all," Hiroshi shrugged, hoping that his mother wouldn't grow suspicious.

"Alrigh', well jus' come back in time for dinner," she said as she went back to tending the pot.

Hiroshi headed out the door, relieved his story worked and walked towards his destination.

He needed to apologize. If not for himself and Handa, but for his mother. He knew Handa wasn't a bad guy and probably declined the meals because he didn't want to make Hiroshi feel obligated to his mother to come deliver them. He probably knew Hiroshi was avoiding him on purpose. But did that also mean that Handa didn't want to see him either?

It didn't matter much now as he was standing in front of the familiar wooden house. He knocked a few times and waited until the door slid open.

"Oh... Hiro..." Handa seemed surprised, yet his eyes cast downwards. "Sorry, I already told your mother that I'd be making my meals from now on. Sorry for causing so much trouble for your family." Handa gave a faint smile that seemed a little forced.

Hiroshi looked at Handa's face and noticed he looked pretty drained. Then he remembered when Handa first came to the island. He had a similar situation when, upon first meeting him, told Handa that his mother wouldn't be making meals for him anymore. He came back to find Handa's hands cut and bandaged and some rather inedible onions.

"I'm comin' in..." Hiroshi pushed his way into the house and headed towards the kitchen.

"W-Wait, Hiro!" Handa followed after him to find Hiroshi going through his cabinets and fridge.

"What the hell, you hardly have any food!" Hiroshi said as all he had found was some rice, vegetables and a few condiments.

"I just have to go shopping is all," Handa protested. "Anyway, I'm fine so you can head home now."

Hiroshi ignored him and dug out a frying pan. "Go n' sit down, I'll make you somethin',"

Handa knew when he was defeated and hung his head a bit. "Alright..."

A few moments later, Hiroshi came into the living room with a plate of fried rice and a pair of chopsticks, setting it in front of Handa.

"Go ahead n' eat, you prob'ly haven't been eatin' much for a few days now I'm assumin'," Hiroshi sat down at the table across from him.

"Thanks for the meal," Handa said quietly and took the first bite. "Oh, this is really good. Especially considering what I had in the kitchen," he let out a weak laugh.

Hiroshi tensed up a bit and looked down at his hands. "... Sorry..."

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry... about the other day. I shouldn't have went an' kicked you an' yelled at you like that but you wasn't takin' care of yourself an'-"

"It's okay," Handa interjected, placing his chopsticks down. Hiroshi lifted his gaze. "It's alright, after I cooled down a bit and had a talk with Naru I understood why you got angry. She told me how she thought I was dying and then came and got you..."

Hiroshi remembered the feeling he had when he thought Handa might've seriously hurt himself this time.

"I really do cause problems for everyone..." Handa said in a quiet, somber voice.

"No, that ain't it at all," Hiroshi spoke up. "It's just 'cus we care about you n' all! Of course I'd get mad if you was doin' somethin' that was harming your body... Or bein' so careless. I thought you would've learned your lesson by now, already overworkin' yourself before. Jeeze..." Hiroshi crossed his arms.

"Heh..." Hiroshi heard a noise coming from Handa's direction and looked over. "You really are a nice guy, Hiro..." his voice trembled slightly.

"Eh? You cryin'?" Hiroshi leaned over the table.

"No!" Handa scooted away and covered his face.

"Jeeze, you don't hafta go an' cry over somethin' like that!" Handa was such an emotional guy, it wouldn't be the first time Hiroshi had seen him tear up over something so simple.

"But, I yelled at you and said the champon would taste like crap," Handa sniffled.

"Pfft..." Hiroshi covered his hand with his mouth.

"Don't laugh!" Handa's mood changed quickly when he looked over at Hiroshi, whose face began to turn a shade of red from holding back his laughter.

"But... Tha's such a stupid reason to be upset..." Hiroshi said from behind his hand, letting out a little chuckle here and there.

"Shut up! I felt really bad after yelling at you, you know!" Handa shouted and pointed his finger towards Hiroshi.

He couldn't take it anymore and let out a loud guffaw while Handa's face turned red in embarrassment. Hiroshi couldn't even tell what Handa was saying in protest because all he could think about was how glad he was that the atmosphere between them was back to normal.

"Hey, hey, what's so funny?" Miwa's voice sounded from the doorway.

"Nothing!" Handa shouted, throwing a pillow at Hiroshi.

"Huh? Hiro-nii was with you here? Alone?" Tama had also apparently tagged along. "Miwa, I think we should leave them alone," she grabbed Miwa's arm with a tug, her face dusted with pink.

"There ain't no way I'm leavin' I jus' got here!" Miwa ignored Tama's suggestion and walked in. "Besides, it looks like Hiro-nii is cookin', make me somethin' too!"

"I'm not makin' anythin' for you!" Hiroshi rejected.

"Hiro-nii will only make food for Sensei..." Tama muttered under her breath.

"Come oooon, I'll buy ya some ice cream next time I go to the convenience store," Miwa decided maybe a bribe would do the trick.

"No can do, what I jus' made for Sensei is the last of the food he had."

"Ehhhh..." Miwa pouted and looked at Handa's plate. "Lemme have some of this then," she grabbed for the plate and chopsticks but it was quickly snatched up.

"No way! This is mine!" Handa said, holding it away from Miwa's prying hands.

"Jus' a lil' bit won't hurt!" She reached over Handa trying to get at the food.

"Nooo!" Handa protested and nearly fell over.

Hiroshi let out another laugh as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. He realized he hadn't smiled for a whole week when he felt his cheeks ache slightly.

* * *

><p><strong>End of Chapter.<strong>

This chapter actually ended up longer than I thought so I hope you liked it! Also, I figured I'd talk about this a bit. I know I have a good amount of people that read my stories who's first language isn't English and that makes me soooo happy! Because despite the fact that they may not know the language as well as native speakers they still read my stories and then let me know how much they like them! So first of all - thank you! Secondly, you probably have noticed by now that I give everyone in this story accents (except for Handa). In Japanese, the characters speak in a certain dialect because they are from the Goto islands, and when translated into English, people seem to give them something kind of the equivalent to a 'country' or 'southern' accent. I wanted to write everyone with this accent, but then I realized that this might be a bit difficult for people who don't have English as their first language or sometimes struggle with English. So if there is ever any part of the dialogue that doesn't make any sense to you **_please_ **let me know! I tried to not make the accents too strong, but I will be more than happy to tell you what they're saying without the accents. :)

So now that I got that out of the way, thank you so much for reading and see you again next time! :*


	3. Chapter 3

It was one of those rare summer days that didn't feel like the humidity was going to make your skin feel so damp you could've sworn you were constantly in a sauna. It also wasn't one degree less than the surface of the sun. In fact, the breeze was pleasant and the temperature was just right. What better way than to spend it out fishing?

This was Hiroshi's exact train of thought as he headed out for the day, fishing rod and bucket in hand. Maybe he wouldn't be catching any _hisan iwo_, but he was positive he'd come home with a few good catches. He needed a day off after being piled in homework and stressing over college applications. Today, it was just him and the ocean.

Well, that's what he thought, anyway.

The first hour was fine, he reeled some nice fish in and got to enjoy some peace and quiet until a familiar voice chirped up from beside him.

"Ya catchin' anythin' good, Hiro-nii?" Miwa must've stopped by the dock during her day off as well.

"Kinda," Hiroshi replied briefly. He could hear the younger girl's shoes scraping against the concrete and sitting down beside him.

"How do you even 'kinda' catch fish?" She teased, poking at his cheek.

Hiroshi slapped her hand away in annoyance. "I jus' caught a couple so far n' I can catch more if you don' bother me."

"Eh? Why you gotta be so mean, Hiro-nii!" She puffed out her cheeks, "You don' do anythin' else either besides go fishin' n' school, do ya?" Hiro-nii is surprisingly boring."

"Well if ya gotta problem with how borin' I am then you can scram!" Hiroshi's gaze fixed in front of him.

"Psh, you can tell you ain't gotta girlfriend either. You don' know the first thing about treatin' a girl!" Miwa continued to tease.

"So what!? I don' need no girlfriend right now anyways!" Hiroshi protested.

"Hey, how about datin' Tama-chan? She's a bit weird but hey, you two know each other n' stuff so why not?" Miwa suggested.

"No way! Even if I liked her she's way too young. 'N stay out of my datin' life!" Hiroshi was starting to get beyond annoyed with Miwa's presence at this point.

"She's only a few years younger'n you! When yer both old'n grey the age won' much matter!" Hiroshi could tell that Miwa wasn't being serious and was solely doing this to make fun of him.

"Jeeze, get lost, Miwa! I dunno why you gotta go'n make fun of me so much when I'm jus' tryin' to relax." He was definitely not in the mood for her incessant jokes.

"Whatever," Miwa hoisted herself up. "You're gonna end up jus' like Sensei - an adult who's only concern is his work."

"You say that like its a bad thing..." Handa was a bit strange, but his work ethic was admirable. So what if he wasn't the typical, young adult who played around to his heart's content?

"I'm bettin' Sensei is hopeless with woman too so you two got somethin' in common it seems like," Miwa chuckled to herself before turning on her heel.

"Yeah, well when the women on this island 're like you I don' think you can blame me," Hiroshi shouted at Miwa's back.

* * *

><p>Hiroshi couldn't help but think about his brief conversation with Miwa after the day had ended and he was lying in bed. He had never really concerned himself much with girls. Of course there were a few girls he found attractive at his school, but he never bothered with pursuing them seriously. There were guys in his class and teammates in the baseball club who had girlfriends, but he really didn't think much of it.<p>

Maybe he never gave much thought about having a girlfriend because he had always assumed he'd leave the island one day. Would a girl from the island be willing to leave this comfortable, simple, life with him? Or would she be okay with being left behind?

Hiroshi turned onto his back and looked up at his ceiling, barely lit up by the moonlight. In the country, everything was pitch black at night, the only thing that could be seen were the stars and the moon and it was incredibly quiet. He bet the nighttime in Tokyo would be a lot different, with the buzz of millions of people going about nonstop. Hiroshi closed his eyes, wondering what it'd be like to experience falling asleep to the lull of the big city.

* * *

><p>Hiroshi met up with Naru while he was on his way to deliver Handa's lunch the next day. The air was moist and sticky unlike the previous day, but that didn't prevent the young girl from bounding about and even doing a cartwheel or two on their way to Handa's house.<p>

Naru darted up to the door with her key to the house in hand, something Hiroshi had as well, and unlocked it with a click.

"Senseiiii!" She shouted as she pattered into the house.

"Hey, Sensei, brought you your lunch," Hiroshi came in after her to find her already clinging to the calligrapher in the midst of his work.

"Oh, thank you, Hiroshi," he replied, not looking up at neither Hiroshi nor Naru. He had gotten pretty good at tuning out the distractions, but it was only a matter of time before Naru broke the barrier.

"Sensei! Watcha writin' this time?" Naru peeked over at his work in curiosity.

"Ah, I got a commission to write a sign for this wedding chapel... Although I find it a bit odd that they'd want something like this as their sign," Handa set his brush down and looked at his work, placing his hand on his chin.

"Well its lookin' nice so far," Hiroshi commented.

"Hm, something just doesn't seem right, though. I've written it so many times and every time feels off..." Handa's eyes narrowed in concentration.

"'S okay, Sensei! You can be my bride 'n maybe you'll get the feelin' of bein' married n' writin' the sign'll be a breeze!" Naru patted Handa on the shoulder, puffing her chest out in pride.

"Huh? Even if that was ethical - why would _I_ be the bride!?" Handa protested.

"Cuz you always need takin' care of, jus' like a bride!" Naru said matter-of-factly.

"Are you saying that I'm so helpless? And hey, aren't you a woman yourself? Doesn't that way of thinking bother you even slightly?" Handa's cheeks burned a bit with embarrassment.

Hiroshi laughed and sat down across from Handa and Naru.

"There ain't nothin' wrong with bein' takin' care of, Sensei," Hiroshi tried making Handa feel a little better. "Innit with these modern Tokyo guys 's always the woman makin' decisions in the household anymore?"

"I guess, in a way," Handa grumbled. "But I'm fine on my own! I've survived so far..."

"Yeah, with me bringin' ma's cookin' over almost every day! You'd be shriveled up n' dead if it weren't for us keepin' an eye out on you!" Hiroshi had way too many experiences to account for the fact that Handa was far from okay being left alone.

"Well, in normal places I could just get take-out or stop by the convenience store for food!"

"Tha's so unhealthy! An' what about you workin' yourself to death like you've been doin'?"

"It's just because it's been so hot lately!"

"Hiro-nii..." Both Handa and Hiroshi halted their words to look over at Naru who had a serious look on her face. "You can't take Sensei away from me!" She said loudly, clinging to Handa.

"Eh? What're you goin' on about, Naru?" Hiroshi asked in confusion.

"You're tryin' to take my bride away, ain't ya? I'll learn how to cook better'n you an' I'll get stronger'n you! Jus' you wait!" Naru pointed her finger threateningly.

"HUH? I ain't tryin' to... 'take' Sensei from ya!" Hiroshi's face reddened slightly at the ridiculous accusation.

"Don' lie! I've seen Tama-nee's books that she has 'bout two guys gettin' all romantic with each other! You're tryin' to seduce Sensei!" Naru's eyes started to tear up a bit.

"What'n the heck are ya talkin' about?" Hiroshi was baffled.

"H-Hey! What are those girls teaching you now!?" Handa covered Naru's mouth with his hand, his face flushed with pink.

It took a little while to calm Naru down and convince her that no one was going to be taking her 'bride' away. Honestly, Hiroshi really wondered if it was alright that Naru spent so much time hanging around Tama and Miwa. What in the world were they doing to make her say such weird things?

"It looks like I have to have another serious talk with those two..." Handa rubbed at his temples after he had finally distracted Naru with a calligraphy brush and sheets of paper, telling her to go practice her writing.

"Seriously, it don' much help that Miwa has been a bit of a pain in my side lately," Hiroshi watched Handa finally unwrap the bowl of food he had brought over.

"Huh, really? It's not Tama that's been bugging you?" Handa asked.

"What is it about Tama that you'n Miwa keep bringin' up to me 'bout?" Hiroshi furrowed his brow.

"Eh? Uh... nothing!" Handa's eyes shifted as he munched on his food.

"You know, the other day Miwa had the gall to say I'm borin' n' I don' understand women! Jus' cuz I don' have a girlfriend doesn' mean I'm bad with women," Hiroshi grumbled.

"Oh yeah, I remember you said you didn't have one at the festival. I'm kind of surprised, lots of kids your age are going out with each other, aren't they?" Handa asked casually.

"Gee, thanks..." Hiroshi eyed Handa.

"Um, I didn't mean it in a bad way!" Handa stuck out a hand in defense. "This is coming from a single, 23 year old guy, so its not like I'm judging you or anything..." Handa scratched at his chin and looked off to the side meekly.

"You ain't gotta girlfriend back in Tokyo, Sensei?" Hiroshi rested his arms and chin on the table.

"Nah, I don't have time for relationships. Honestly, I'm happy with my situation right now. Although it does get to me a bit when people ask why I'm single..." Handa recalled the time when Hiroshi's father commented about it.

"Well, you're still young. If you ain't wanna bother yourself with girls right now, tha's your own choice. I feel like I'm kinda in the same situation. I dunno where the next couple years is gonna take me, so why tie myself down?" Hiroshi shrugged.

"Hiro..." Handa had a look in his eye that just screamed 'my comrade!'. Oh well, Hiroshi didn't mind sharing this sort of trait in common with Handa. In fact, he felt a little happier knowing that Handa felt the same way as him.

"Well, I should get goin'," Hiroshi lifted himself up off the floor.

"Oh, I'm not finished with the food yet..." Handa got up as well.

"'S alright, I'll come pick it up later today," Hiroshi turned to face Handa.

"Huh? You're coming back?"

"Sure, why not?" Hiroshi shrugged, "I'll come make you n' Naru some dinner."

"You don't have to do something like that," Handa felt like he shouldn't take Hiroshi's kindness for granted all the time.

"Nah, I kinda feel like it today. I'll jus' tell my ma that I'm havin' dinner at your place tonight," Hiroshi gave a brief smile.

"Thank you..." Handa returned the smile, "Heh, I think between you and me you're more wife-like," Handa joked.

"No way I'm the wife! You're definitely the wife! Men learn how to cook now-a-days!" Hiroshi went along with the joke with a laugh.

"But I'm older so I win," Handa nodded.

"Jus' you sayin' that is so childish!" Hiroshi nudged him in the arm.

"See? Wives are always trying to keep their husbands in line!" Handa said, nudging Hiroshi back.

"GET AWAY FROM SENSEI!"

Before either of them knew it, the sound of small, fastly approaching footsteps was in their ears and Hiroshi felt himself losing his balance as a small body came hurdling towards him.

"Ow!" Hiroshi landed with a thud, tripping backwards on the front porch and landing in the dirt with Naru on top of him.

"I knew it! You was tryin' to take Sensei away from me!" She wailed, pounding on Hiroshi's chest.

"Hey, hey, Naru! We were joking! Joking!" Handa ran over and attempted to pull Naru off of Hiroshi.

"Man, oh man, you certainly have some weird hobbies, don't ya, Sensei?" As if the situation couldn't have gotten any worse, more company had joined them.

They must've looked strange standing there, Hiroshi on the ground with Handa hovering over him with Naru in his hands and the girl clinging onto the younger man.

Yep, definitely strange.

"Hey! You two! What have you been teaching Naru this time?" Handa shouted, still trying to pry Naru off of Hiroshi and ignoring Miwa's comment.

"Didn' I tell you she jus' picks it up? We ain't teachin' her nothin'," Miwa replied.

"Oh yeah? Well she was talking about some sort of book she found in Tama's room and then got the impression that Hiro was trying to take me away from her or something!" Handa finally managed to get her off of Hiroshi.

"Yeah, wha's that all about?" Hiro dusted himself off and rubbed his tailbone that was now throbbing in pain.

Everyone's attention turned to Tama who stood in place, dumbstruck.

"I d-d-don' know what any'a you are talkin' 'bout!" She said in a squeaky voice, her face growing pale. "I, uh, jus' realized I forgot somethin' at home, bye!" And faster than she came, Tama left in a hurry, not even looking back.

"Huh, I wonder wha's gotten into her?" Miwa scratched at her head.

"Anyway, no more teaching Naru weird things!" Handa held Naru up in front of Miwa.

"Ehh, didn' you jus' say it was Tama's fault this time?" Miwa crossed her arms.

"You need to be reminded too!" Handa scolded.

"Sensei ain't gonna be anyone else's bride but mine!" Naru announced once Handa put her down.

"Oho, looks like you got yourself a suitor, Sensei. Good for you, Naru, finally tellin' Sensei how you feel 'bout him," Miwa giggled.

"Hey! There you go again! Putting weird things in her head!" Handa scolded once again.

"I'm gonna get goin' alright, Sensei?" Handa had nearly forgotten he was seeing Hiroshi out.

"Oh, alright, I'll see you later," Handa waved.

"No you ain't! Hiro-nii ain't allowed to come back!" Naru hissed.

Hiroshi scoffed a chuckle under his breath and went on his way. Kids were so unexpected sometimes. He never thought he would get tackled by Naru in some sort of mistaken 'lover's quarrel'. He rubbed at his back again. The damn scamp didn't have to send him into the ground, though. Maybe he'd skimp on Naru's portion of dinner as revenge.

* * *

><p><strong>End of Chapter.<strong>

FYI: Naru did _**not**_ find a book with any 'adult situations' in it, thank goodness! But Tama better be more careful next time!  
>Thanks so much for reading! :3 I'm having fun writing about these two. I noticed there really wasn't much written with them so it gave me motivation to think of these scenarios for them. I kinda wanted it to be like the animemanga where it's kind of just a daily life thing and nothing very complicated. But don't worry, Hiro and Handa will be getting closer and closer as time goes by...

See you next time! :*


	4. Chapter 4

As quickly as Handa had showed up in the village, one day he was gone just as fast. No one had heard about the calligrapher leaving the island, but that seems to be what had just happened. Everyone found out once Naru came running down the streets, yelling and looking for him. It didn't take long for the other young kids, Tama, and Miwa to join in on the search. Hiroshi had heard all of the fuss and went outside. He himself was considering helping a little until his father came around to announce that Handa had went back to Tokyo.

Everyone's hearts dropped just a bit when they heard it. There was absolutely no indication that Handa would be going back. Hell, just the previous day he was acting as he always had. Why would he leave so suddenly like that - wasn't he starting to consider this island, at least a little, part of his home?

But instead of getting angry, everyone seemed complacent. They all believed that Handa would come back, that he was only going to be in Tokyo for a little while. Hiroshi wasn't so sure. Would Handa come back after seeing his home town again? Would he even want to leave the modern, glitzy city of Tokyo to return to the backwoods atmosphere of the Gotou Islands?

Hiroshi wasn't even sure how he felt about Handa's absence. He felt a little upset with him for leaving without notice, that's for sure. But could he really blame him? Maybe Handa was just bad with goodbyes. But most of all, Hiroshi wasn't sure what he was feeling about not seeing Handa anymore - not being able to deliver his food and to see his tired face after a day of working. Not being able to see his messy and amazing calligraphy strewn about the house. Not being able to see him smile and become overly excited over just a small favor...

"Whatever, life'll jus' go back to the way it was if he doesn't come back," Hiroshi mumbled to himself as he stared absent minded at the unfinished homework in front of him.

He set down his pencil with a long sigh. He was no longer up to wracking his brain over the assignment that he had actually given up on long ago. Maybe a walk would help him clear his head. With Handa gone he had lost his daily excuse to put off his homework until nightfall.

"I'm goin' out, ma!" Hiroshi shouted before walking out the door.

His mother had also been a little down since Handa had left. It was similar to the time when Handa denied the dinners she cooked him - except this time there were no guarantees that she'd ever cook a meal for him again.

The sun was already starting to sink down towards the horizon as Hiroshi left his house and walked down the all to familiar dirt road. Wondering how Handa left and if he'd ever be coming back should be the least of his problems - midterms were coming, and fast. Hiroshi had his whole future to think about, and that's what he needed to focus on right now.

Not only was Hiroshi's mind wandering, his feet were wandering too. He had walked these roads so many times in his life that he would often walk to various places around the village without much thought. He'd often end up some place and couldn't recall what route had taken him there.

It seemed like that's exactly what happened today as he had somehow ended up outside of Handa's house. Well, what used to be Handa's house. Hiroshi stood in front of it for a moment. It was strange how this house used to be full of life from half the village walking in and out of it as they pleased - now it seemed so empty.

Or maybe not.

A sudden blast of music sounded from the old house.

"Did the girls seriously go 'n take the house over again already?" Hiroshi mumbled to himself as he got closer.

He walked around back despite still having his own copy of the house key. He knew the back door was pretty much broken and might've even fallen off by now. As he rounded the corner, his guess was right and there were the usual three, making themselves at home with the door wide open.

"Oh, Hiro-nii!" Miwa was lying on her back, reading a magazine when she noticed the presence of company.

Hiroshi sighed, setting his hands on his hips. "What're you guys doin'?"

"What's it look like? We're hangin' out at our base, duh!" Miwa shrugged and went back to reading her magazine.

Naru was at the table, concentrating on something she was drawing, while Tama sat up against the wall reading one of her manga.

"Sensei's only been gone a few days 'n you guys are already gettin' over it?" Hiroshi shook his head at the sight.

"Sensei'll be back! For now we're jus' keepin' the house nice 'n lived in for him!" Miwa replied, unfazed by the situation.

Hiroshi didn't know why everyone was so confident that Handa would return. Sure he ended up getting along with everyone while he was here, but that was only natural, right? His purpose of coming to this island was to find inspiration. Maybe he had already found it and was content, maybe that's the entire reason he went back to Tokyo without a word. He probably never intended to stay here long in the first place.

"Are you missin' Sensei, Hiro-nii?" Tama asked from behind her manga.

"Huh? I ain't said that..." Hiroshi scratched at the back of his head.

"Aww, Hiro-nii misses Sensei!" Miwa chimed in.

"I said that ain't what it is!" Hiroshi raised his voice, his cheeks burning slightly.

"I miss him more!" Naru finally spoke up, shooting a glare at Hiroshi.

She had eventually calmed down after their little 'fight' but would occasionally give challenging glares at him if the subject of Handa being involved with Hiroshi ever came up.

"Of course ya do, Naru! Cuz you looooove Sensei!" Miwa set down her magazine to tease Naru.

"Urk...!" Naru clammed up, her face bright red.

"Since Hiro-nii misses Sensei so much, d-does that mean he also loves Sensei!?" Tama said, her voice squeaking a bit.

Hiroshi's eyes widened at the accusation. "What'n the hell're you goin' on about, Tama?"

"Tama, are you reading too much manga?" Even Miwa lifted her brow at the outburst.

"I-I-I..." Tama stuttered as she hid her face behind her manga. "I said nothin'!"

Hiroshi let out a deep sigh and turned on his heel. "Whatever, I'm goin'. I ain't have time to deal with you weirdos."

"Takes one t' know one!" Miwa shouted after him.

Hiroshi clicked his tongue as he got back on the main road, looking down and kicking aside pebbles in his way.

"How can they be so confident Sensei's even comin' back anyway..." He mumbled under his breath.

If it were him, he wasn't so sure he'd come back either. This country bumpkin lifestyle, this tiny village remaining the same... Tokyo was probably a lot more exciting.

'_Are you missin' Sensei, Hiro-nii?'_

"I ain't missin' that guy," Hiroshi kicked hard at the dirt, letting a bit of his frustration slip out.

His legs stopped moving and he stood still, his eyes remained pointed towards the ground.

People always said that when you're a teenager, all your hormones were in a jumble because of how much you were growing. But Hiroshi never really thought all of that was true. Maybe it was because it wasn't until this year he started to take his schoolwork seriously. Or maybe it was because he was on that cusp of not being considered a kid anymore and becoming an adult. Maybe it was that so much in his life had changed over the past few months that had stirred so much up in him.

Hiroshi shoved his hands in his pockets and began his walk again. He was planning on returning home, but who knew where his legs would take him.

"He could've at least said 'good-bye'..."

* * *

><p><strong>End of Chapter.<strong>

Thanks for reading! Hopefully a new chapter will be up sooner than later. See you next time! :*


	5. Chapter 5

"Hiro-nii! Hurry up! We're headin' over to the store t'use the phone!" Miwa caught Hiroshi as he was going out for one of his strolls.

"Huh? Why are all'a you goin' over to the store for that?" Hiroshi scratched his head, noticing that Tama, Naru, and the rest of the kids were all gathered together.

"Cuz we're gonna talk to Sensei!" Naru shouted and jumped in glee.

"Sensei?" Hiroshi asked, curiously.

"Akki said he got a call from Kawafuji-san askin' for us to call Sensei," Tama explained.

"You're gonna come, right, Hiro-nii?" Miwa asked, grinning widely.

Hiroshi felt a sense of lightness the moment he realized there was an opportunity to speak with Handa again.

"Yeah, I suppose I'll tag along," it wasn't as if he was going to show his excitement like the kids were, though. He was much more reserved than that.

Hiroshi walked behind as the youngest kids cheered and laughed all the way to the store.

"So, why did Kawafuji-san ask for us to call Sensei?" '_And am I really included in that 'us'?'_ Hiroshi thought.

"Dunno, but Akki said they got a call earlier from him askin' for all the kids to call him up later cuz he was in a slump or somethin'. Ain't that right, Tama?" Miwa looked over at her friend for an agreement.

"Mhm," Tama nodded.

"I ain't no kid, though!" Hiroshi scoffed.

"What, you don't wanna talk with Sensei?" Miwa nudged. "Feel included with us once inna while, Hiro-nii! I'm sure Sensei would be right happy to hear from ya."

Tama simply nodded in agreement.

"I guess..." Hiroshi said quietly.

So... Handa really didn't plan on leaving without saying another word to them again? And he was in a slump? What did that have to do with them? There were so many questions Hiroshi wanted to ask but he doubted he'd get to ask any of them considering who else was going to be wanting to have their chance to talk on the phone. And did it mean... he might actually be coming back?

Hiroshi didn't want to get too hopeful... Was that what he was feeling - hopeful? Did he really want Handa to come back to the island? Hirosh shook the thoughts from his head. He didn't want to dwell on them much. Instead, he watched as Miwa and Tama caught up with the younger kids and joined in on their excitement. He exhaled with a grin as he watched Naru take the lead as soon as their destination was in sight.

"Akki! Have y'called Sensei yet!?" Naru shouted as soon as she burst into the store.

"I waited until y'all came, o' course. Is this e'eryone?" Akki asked in his soft voice as he watched everyone file in.

"Yep! We went an' picked 'em all up along the way!" Miwa gave a thumbs up and the group began to gather around the phone.

The room quieted with bated breath as they watched Akki dial the numbers on the rotary phone. Hiroshi could feel himself get a little nervous... and excited.

"I wanna hold the phone!" Naru pleaded, holding out her hands.

"Alrigh'," after he was done dialing, Akki passed the phone to Naru who took it with excitement and held it close to her ear.

You could tell when the phone picked up as Naru twitched slightly in surprise, closely followed by a big hello.

"He answered?" Hiro asked, it still seemed like he was doubting a bit that Handa was actually going to be on the other line of the phone.

And that seemed to be the signal for everyone in the room to grab for the phone and shout their greetings and encouraging words.

After it passed from Naru to Miwa to Tama - who for some reason felt like she needed to speak for Hiroshi herself - Hiroshi decided that it was his turn to take the phone (before Tama decided to say anything even weirder about him). And of course the first thing that came out of his mouth was to scold him about leaving the island before the rowdy boys tugging at his legs got a hold of the phone right after him.

But he heard it, if only for a moment - Handa's voice. That was really all he needed to confirm that Handa didn't actually disappear off the face of the planet. Really, that was all he needed. He didn't need to have a long conversation or ask a million questions. Honestly, those questions didn't matter when he knew he was speaking to Handa.

Besides, it was amusing to watch everyone continue to shout and snatch the phone from each other. This Handa truly was loved by the entire island, wasn't he?

"Sensei, its borin' here without you," Naru said as she got the phone back again.

At that, Hiroshi found himself agreeing with Naru. Yeah, it was boring, wasn't it? The village didn't seem as lively, for some reason. It felt like something was missing. Hiroshi couldn't deny it any longer - he felt himself truly wanting Handa to come back. How could he have left such a huge impact and leave just like that...

Even after the call ended and the kids frolicked and laughed out of the store, Hiroshi's sense of longing remained. He wanted Handa to hurry back quickly - life definitely wasn't the same without him.

* * *

><p>All Hiroshi wanted to do was install the windows in Handa's house before he got in from his flight in the evening.<p>

But of course, everything is not so simple.

He should've figured, but he thought he could trust the younger villagers with the one simple task of cleaning the house - since they were the ones that made a mess in the first place. But of course, what does he find? All of them goofing off in the backyard with absolutely nothing done!

"Why do I gotta step in for you guys t'do the simples' thing?" Hiroshi grumbled and crossed his arms after assigning a task for everyone to start doing.

"We was jus' waitin' for a strong leader like you, Hiro-nii!" Miwa tried to butter him up, but it was completely useless.

"You guys're jus' lazy!" Hiroshi retorted.

Miwa ran off with a giggle and Hiroshi sighed as he gathered up his trash bag and started picking up garbage off the floor. Tama was in the room with him, cleaning off the table.

"Hey, Tama, can I ask you somethin'?" Hiroshi looked over at her.

"Uh, sure," Tama nodded, concentrating on picking out what was trash and what wasn't.

"Why do'ya feel like you gotta speak for how I feel about Sensei sometimes?" Hiroshi tried to frame it nicely, but he wanted to get to the point.

On more than one occasion Tama had announced things concerning what Hiroshi thinks of Handa on his behalf without asking him. She even did it the other day while they were on the phone with Handa, telling the calligrapher that Hiroshi missed him without even asking how Hiroshi actually felt.

"Uh... err..." Tama seized up and seemed to sink lower and lower behind the table.

"Jus' askin'..." Hiroshi didn't want to make it such a big deal that it made Tama feel like running away. But it was bothering him. "I mean, you don' even ask me before you go tellin' Sensei that I miss him or somethin'. I can tell him that kinda stuff myself, y'know," Hiroshi shrugged, picking up a few more pieces of garbage.

"D-Do you really miss Sensei?" Tama asked, avoiding eye contact with Hiroshi.

Hiroshi paused for a moment before answering. "As much as e'eryone else does, I guess," he said casually. It wasn't like he was just going to say 'yes' just like that.

"I see..." Tama said quietly and went back to tending to the table.

Not much else was said between the two after that. Hiroshi just continued to dictate the cleaning until it was all done.

* * *

><p>First he had to be in charge of the cleaning, then he somehow found himself cooking all of the food for this unofficial 'welcome back party'. But oddly enough, Hiroshi didn't mind too much. Because the moment Handa came back to his home, all the work that day seemed so fleeting. Even knocked over and covered in a pile of kids, it was the same Handa that they had all known.<p>

In that moment everything felt right. The void that was left by his absence was filled again, and the house didn't seem so lonely and empty. Handa was back, and with that also returned the laughter, happiness, and warmth that Hiroshi didn't realize had went away the day Handa had suddenly left.

Sitting there with everyone, eating food and listening to Handa talk and answer the probing questions of everyone felt so good. Seeing Handa's smile made Hiroshi's chest feel lighter. If he didn't have any sense of restraint and if no one else was here to witness it, Hiroshi was certain that he'd probably end up telling Handa how much he missed him - how much he missed this. But of course, he wasn't one to say such sappy things. Right now he was content with reveling in this moment. Even his own laughter couldn't stop as the kids ruffled with Handa's feathers.

He was so glad that Handa was back.

* * *

><p><strong>End of Chapter.<strong>

Hiro is finally starting to realize some things!  
>See you next chapter! :*<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Hiroshi got the idea since he had the day off of school and it had been a while since he had cooked something for Handa (except for the party the day the calligrapher came back). He might as well do this little idea now since the weather was just going to get colder from here on out. Hiroshi woke up early that morning to prepare all the dishes for the day - boiling vegetables, cooking some rice, frying up some shrimp. He even made special note to make enough konomon the day before for Handa to take back home. He figured he should make enough for more than two people since there was a good chance that it wouldn't be just him and Handa. That was fine - it wasn't like he was just doing this so the two of them would be alone...

But Hiroshi had the sudden urge to go out for a picnic. He figured Handa would need a break after pouring all of his time into that competition in Tokyo, and he was in the mood to cook, so why not? He had already established that he enjoyed having Handa back on the island. There was nothing strange about wanting to treat him to a day out, right? He felt at this point he could even consider Handa a friend.

It took him quite a while, but he managed to get all of the food cooked and ready before noon. Everything was neatly in boxes and placed inside of a picnic basket. He grabbed a blanket for laying out before leaving the house and headed out.

Hiroshi was glad that it was nice and bright outside. He worried if the weather was going to suddenly turn, but it seemed like it would be clear skies for the rest of the day. He couldn't help but have a bit of pep in his step as he made his walk to Handa's house. Even he couldn't deny his excitement of having a day out.

As soon as the house was in sight, Hiroshi picked up the pace a bit and saw that the front door was open. As expected, Naru was at the table with Handa messing around with some of the calligraphy tools.

"Hey, Sensei, Naru," Hiroshi greeted as he invited himself in.

"Oh, hey, Hiro," Handa seemed a bit surprised to see the younger man. He set his brush down on the table.

"Yo!" Naru held up a hand.

"You guys gettin' hungry?" Hiroshi held up the basket. "Thought maybe you'd like t'go on a picnic."

"Picnic! Picnic!" Naru jumped for joy at the idea.

"Ohh! I've never had one!" Handa seemed excited as well which improved Hiroshi's mood even more.

"Well, come on! I already got the food n' all so you jus' gotta bring yourself," Hiroshi grinned.

"Yay!" Naru ran out of the house with her hands over her head. Then she stopped suddenly, "Wait! I have'ta go to granny's store right quick!" And without another word she dashed off.

"Guess we'll wait on her then," Hiroshi set the basket down and sat across from Handa.

"What made you want to have a picnic all of the sudden, Hiro?" Handa asked.

Hiroshi shrugged, "Jus' kinda felt like it since the warm weather ain't gonna stay 'round for much longer."

"Ah, that's true," Handa nodded, "I've always wanted to go on a picnic though! My parents never thought they were a good idea so I never got the chance to go on one..."

"Well, now ya do," Hiroshi replied.

Handa smiled, "Did you make all the food yourself?"

"Yep, got up early jus' to do it."

"Ahh, I feel lucky to get a whole meal of Hiro's cooking!" Handa looked off with a content look on his face.

"'S not that big of a deal," Hiroshi rested his head on his palm, his face flushed slightly.

"I should get changed!" Handa stood up suddenly and stomped off to his room.

Hiroshi didn't think it was very necessary for Handa to get changed just to go outside and eat, but he guessed getting out of his calligraphy writing gear would help ease his stress.

"'M back!" Naru appeared at the entrance, breathing a little heavily and holding a package in her hands.

"Whatcha got there?" Hiroshi asked.

"A kite!" She held it up proudly.

"I've never flown a kite either!" Handa came out from his room in a normal t-shirt and jeans, a slightly childish and goofy look on his face.

"You haven't done a lotta things, huh, Sensei?" Hiroshi teased.

"I can't help it," Handa said in his defense.

"Le's go!" Naru jumped up and shouted.

Handa looked just as childish as Naru as he followed her out of the house. Hiroshi couldn't help but laugh a bit - it was like he was taking two children to the park instead of a famous calligrapher and a young girl.

The walk there wasn't too long. In the country there were plenty of open fields and empty spaces where one could lay out and enjoy the weather outside. Hiroshi had been around these parts long enough to know the best places to go though. It of course had to be free of many trees since Naru had brought along a kite, and it had to be an area where the wind was just right.

"I think 'round 'ere is good," Hiroshi said as they made their way onto a flat and pleasant piece of land.

"Woo!" Naru jumped in the air and fell in the grass, proceeding to roll about.

"Ah, the weather is so nice today too," Handa took in a deep breath and inhaled slowly, taking in his surroundings.

"Sure is," Hiroshi agreed, setting down the basket and lying down the blanket.

"Kite! Le's fly the kite!" Naru cheered, holding up the kite in the air.

"Alrigh' lemme see it," Hiroshi signaled for Naru to hand it over so he could unwrap the string and tie it to the piece of wood it came with so it wouldn't fly off into nothingness.

"Hiro, you've flown a kite before?" Handa stood next to him and asked with intrigue.

"Yep, use'ta fly kites all the time when I was Naru's age," Hiroshi knelt down and gave the handle to Naru. "Hold on tight, now. You might hafta watch so she doesn't go flyin' off too, Sensei. The wind is pretty strong."

Handa nodded a confirmation.

Hiroshi held the kite and walked further away from Naru until the string seemed to be far enough out.

"Alrigh', I'm lettin' go!" Hiroshi shouted, holding the kite in the air.

"Ohhh!" Naru shouted.

And at that moment Hiroshi's hands let go of the kite and it went soaring in the air.

"Ahaha!" Naru giggled with glee as the kite nearly pulled her across the grass.

"Woah!" Handa grabbed her shoulders quickly before she went anywhere else.

"Look, Sensei! Ain't this awesome," Naru smiled and laughed as she looked up at the rainbow colored kite.

"Yeah, its really something," Handa looked up in awe as the kite swooped through the air.

"Wanna hold it, Sensei?" Hiroshi asked as he trotted back up where the other two stood.

"C-Can I?" He asked with a hopeful look on his face.

"You'll let 'im for a bit, right, Naru?" Hiroshi looked over at the young girl.

"Mhm!" Naru nodded.

"Okay!" Handa's face was clearly flushed with excitement as he grabbed the handle from Naru.

"Ah!" The pull from the kite was much stronger than Handa had expected and his arms were quickly jerked up.

"You gotta hold on tight too, Sensei!" Hiroshi grabbed for the handle and battled the kite back down.

"Th-Thanks, Hiro," Handa laughed a bit out of embarrassment of nearly getting jerked away from the kite.

"You should hold it like this so you've got a better grip," Hiroshi ghosted Handa's hands to show him.

"Mm, alright," Handa gripped the handle tighter.

Hiroshi almost didn't realize how close he was now that the scare was over. In fact, his body was flush against Handa's and he had an arm around the other man in order to grab the kite's handle with both hands.

"I-I think I've got it now," Hiroshi heard Handa say next to his ear.

"Ah, right!" Hiroshi let go almost instantly. He wasn't entirely sure why he had froze up there for a bit. "I'm gonna get all the food unpacked..." Hiroshi rubbed the back of his neck and walked back over to the blanket.

Handa and Naru seemed to be off in their own little world with the kite, so it was nice that Hiroshi got a bit of breather after that strange incident. It didn't seem to bother Handa at all, but Hiroshi couldn't help but find it a bit strange. For a moment he could've sworn that he felt he didn't really want to move away from Handa...

"Nn, I must be tired from wakin' up so early," Hiroshi mumbled to himself, unpacking things one by one.

Naru's voice could be heard as she tried showing some tricks that she could do with the kite, yanking at the handle to make it dive bomb only for it to go back up. Handa seemed impressed and clapped as Naru's ego also inflated and continued to try and make the kite flip and zoom across the sky.

Hiroshi sat back on his hands and watched them for a moment. It was pretty relaxing to watch the two have fun without a care in the world. It seemed like Hiroshi's plan to give Handa a relaxing day was working out so far and he felt pretty proud of himself. He was also feeling pretty lucky that the only other person he had to deal with was Naru - he guessed Miwa and Tama were causing terror elsewhere for the day.

"You guys hungry?" Hiroshi shouted after a bit more of watching them.

"Yeah, I'm actually getting pretty hungry from just flying this kite," Handa replied.

Hiroshi watched Naru point to a large rock not too far from them. They both walked over to it and Naru lifted the rock as Handa stuck the handle underneath it. After that, Naru darted towards Hiroshi and the food, Handa trailing behind.

"Food, food!" Naru cheered as she plopped down across from Hiroshi.

"I made you some konomon, Sensei," Hiroshi held up a large bowl.

Handa's face lit up with delight as he sat down next to Hiroshi and grabbed for the bowl. "Thank you..." He opened up the lid immediately and took out one of the pickles, placing it in his mouth and chewing merrily.

"Don' eat too much though 'r else you won't have room for the rest o' the food. I made you enough konomon t' take home," Hiroshi handed over a bento box to Naru.

"Really? That's so kind of you, Hiro," Handa's face flushed with the happiness of food.

Hiroshi chuckled a bit. It was already well established that Handa had a bit of a childish side to him but it was always amusing to see his reactions over small things.

The three began eating their food, laughing and talking while the kite flew above them as if all their troubles had floated away. Naru wasn't old enough to have troubles of her own, but Hiroshi and Handa definitely had their share of them. Hiroshi knew he'd probably need to visit colleges and look for jobs soon. With every day that passed he was closer to graduating and closer to stepping into the real world. And Handa always had the burden of being a famous calligrapher on his back - it was always expected of him to only produce the best work.

But at this moment none of that mattered. The next moments were filled with the sounds of eating and good times. Handa continuously praised Hiroshi's cooking enough to make anyone blush from all the compliments.

"Ah, I'm stuffed with Hiro's good cooking!" Handa sighed as he flopped backwards onto the grass, rubbing his stomach with content.

"Thanks for the meal, Hiro-nii!" Naru patted her stomach as well.

The wind picked up a bit and caused the blanket to rustle up slightly.

"Ohhh, the kite is a kickin'!" Naru stood up and ran towards the kite that was now whipping through the sky.

"Be careful with that, alrigh'?" Hiroshi turned around and yelled after her.

Turning back around, he glanced over at Handa whose eyes were now closed. Hiroshi wasn't sure if he was asleep or not, but he certainly looked relaxed. Hiroshi took the opportunity to also lay down for a bit. There was something about laying down in the grass, the weather perfect and the sun warming your skin.

He closed his eyes for a bit as well. Letting his surroundings soak in and everything felt pleasant. He turned his head and rested his face against the grass that was surprisingly soft. Slowly, Hiroshi opened his eyes and noticed his face was quite close to Handa's head. He could mostly just see Handa's dark, black hair blowing in the wind but that didn't stop him from his eyes lingering for a moment.

Handa's hair seemed so soft - it was really obvious that he took care of it. Hiroshi could even slightly smell the shampoo that he used. It smelled really good. Hiroshi got the urge to get closer to it, and before he knew it his hand was reaching out to gently touch Handa's hair.

He was right - it was soft. Hiroshi stroked a few locks ever so slightly, twisting a bit of it around his fingers.

"Nn, Hiro?" Handa's voice was soft but Hiroshi's hand retracted in surprise at the sound of his voice.

"Wh-What?" Hiroshi stuttered a bit.

"Oh, I thought you were pulling my hair or something," Handa said in a lazy voice.

"Err, nope," Hiroshi lied, he felt his heart beating a little faster.

"Woooo!" The sound of Naru's incoming voice could not have been more welcomed at this awkward moment as she jumped and landed across both Hiroshi and Handa.

"Oof!" Handa nearly got the wind knocked out of him as most of her weight landed on him.

Hiroshi scooped up a giggling Naru, "Don' go jumpin' on people like that, Naru!" He scolded.

"Its okay..." Handa rubbed at his chest.

Hiroshi sighed and let go of Naru who chose to just lay on top of Hiroshi's arm and joined the two lying on the grass.

"Sensei, come catch beetles with me!" Naru tugged at Handa's arm.

"I want to lay here a while longer," Handa whined, "I'm still full from eating so much."

"Aww..." Naru pouted, she remained latched onto Handa.

"Look at the clouds," Hiroshi spoke and pointed up. "Doesn't that'un look like a fish?"

"Oh! I see it!" Handa said excitedly.

"You ever look for shapes in the clouds, Sensei?" Hiroshi asked.

"Hmm, maybe once or twice, but never with anyone else," Handa's eyes scanned the sky for another shape. "Oh! Look, a kitty!" Handa pointed up excitedly.

"Hmm, where?" Hiroshi searched near the area where Handa pointed.

"I don' see it, Sensei," Naru commented as she seemed to have joined the cloud search.

"Yeah me neither," Hiroshi tried tilting his head a bit.

"Are you two blind? Its right there!" Handa continued to point. "It has little whiskers and a cute little tummy... Ah, I wanna pet it..."

Hiroshi laughed and looked over at Handa whose face lit up with bliss as he pretended to pet the imaginary cloud cat. Hiroshi ended up finding it a lot more entertaining to watch Handa get so excited - the look on his face was priceless.

"Senseiiii," Naru grabbed at Handa's arm once again. It seemed like she was getting a bit antsy just lying there.

"You just aren't going to let me rest, are you?" Handa sighed and sat up. "Fine, I'll go bug catching with you as long as Hiro comes."

"Huh? Why do I gotta tag along?" Hiroshi sat up as well.

"Because... I'm bad with those huge beetles..." Handa recalled the time he tried catching them with Kenta and the other boys.

Hiroshi stifled a laugh, "Alrigh' fine. I'll pack everythin' up and we'll go huntin' for beetles."

"Ohhh!" Naru shouted, her plan a success.

* * *

><p>The three ended up staying out until the evening searching for beetles. Unfortunately there weren't too many out since the season was nearing the end, but Naru ended up catching a nice one for her collection.<p>

On the way back to Handa's house, Naru's grandpa was going by on the main road in his tractor and picked her up on his way back home. Hiroshi could've easily just walked back to his house from there, but he insisted on walking Handa home.

"Isn't it a little embarrassing for me to get walked home by someone younger?" Handa commented, holding the bowl of konomon under his arm.

The sky had turned an orangish-purple by now and both of them were pretty exhausted from their day out.

"Are you sayin' you don't want my company?" Hiroshi teased.

"No, but still..." Handa mumbled.

"Besides you act jus' like a kid anyway so 's all the same," Hiroshi grinned.

"And after I was thinking you're such a nice guy for planning this picnic!" Handa lightly pushed Hiroshi.

Handa's house came up faster than Hiroshi expected and both of them walked towards the entrance. It seemed to be quiet so apparently there wasn't any unexpected company.

"Really, though - thanks for inviting me out today. I really needed that," Handa smiled, placing his hands on his hips.

"No problem. You needed a break," Hiroshi shrugged.

Handa let out a chuckle, "I feel lucky getting this pampered by you! I should take advantage of it while I can before you get yourself a girlfriend," Handa joked and unlocked the door to his house.

"Um..." Hiroshi grabbed Handa's wrist without thinking.

"Hm?" Handa turned around and looked at Hiroshi.

"Uh..." Hiroshi froze in place. He wasn't sure why had grabbed Handa's wrist, why he got his attention and now had no idea what he wanted to say, why it slightly bothered him that one day he might not be able to do things for Handa anymore...

Hiroshi could feel a wave of heat run up to his face and he quickly let go of Handa.

"Good night..." He said hurriedly and turned around.

"Oh? Night, Hiro," Hiroshi could hear a bit of confusion in Handa's voice, but he refused to turn around and instead concentrated in getting home as soon as possible.

He could feel his heart beating faster and he started walking so fast that he nearly broke out into a run.

This was scary. Hiroshi was definitely having feelings he had never felt before - and it was all because of Handa Seishuu. The way he enjoyed seeing the man smile, his urge to touch him without much thought, how sad he felt at the thought of being separated from him... This wasn't how someone typically thinks of a friend, right?

"Dammit...!" Hiroshi cursed under his breath as he stopped suddenly.

His breathing was heavy, he grasped the hand that had just held Handa's wrist. He would've just denied that any of those other feelings meant anything like usual - he would've if he hadn't thought only a few moments ago that he wanted to lace his fingers together with Handa's.

* * *

><p><strong>End of Chapter.<strong>

This is another chapter that I couldn't stop writing once I started! I got very inspired to write this from an official art (can't link on here, but the image is on my twitter) because I thought the picture was so cute. I'm happy to see people liking this story so far because I really enjoy writing it. And Hiroshi... he's starting to realized his feelings...!

Thanks for reading and see you next time! :*


	7. Chapter 7

It was very surreal. It was one of those things you had maybe heard about in passing but never really considered that it might concern you in the future. It wasn't like Hiroshi had never heard of men who liked other men. He might've lived in a small, backwoods town, but he was a 21st century teenager - there were ways of learning about unfamiliar things. Hiroshi was almost positive there weren't any people like that where he lived, though, at least not in his town. Because something like that would be nearly impossible to hide amongst these people who chatted and gossiped constantly, and within the day everyone would learn your business. The littlest things get picked up and spread like wildfire.

But... was it too much to say that this is what Hiroshi was? Handa Seishuu was the cause of an unending amount of joy - days would instantly become better the moment Handa was in his presence. The corners of his mouth couldn't help but upturn when the calligrapher made small talk with him. His heart pounded a little faster if their arms or hands so happened to brush against each other. When Hiroshi wasn't around Handa he was thinking about him. When he left his house he already couldn't wait to go back there again.

Hiroshi may have never felt these feelings before, but only the truest of idiots wouldn't realize that this was in fact - love. He might've tried explaining these feelings away at first, but even he could admit he was too deep into this overwhelming emotion to escape it now.

The first few days after Hiroshi had figured out his feelings for Handa were, to put it bluntly, agonizing. It would be a lie if he said he wasn't in denial at first. He knew he didn't pay a bit of attention in class because all he could think about was - did he really fall in love with this strange man? How could that have happened? Was he just confused? But once he told himself that yes, maybe there was a possibility he had fallen head-over-heels for Handa, it was like everything in his mind made sense again.

But how did he fall in love with a man? Hiroshi had only ever had interest in women before. He had crushes, he liked the way they looked - yet no woman was ever capable of making his heart flutter like Handa Seishuu could.

After embracing the fact that he did, in fact, fall in love with Handa, it might have resolved his problem with his true feelings - but it only added a slew of other questions.

Was he gay? Did it matter? No matter how many questions he had there was absolutely no one to answer them. His father owned a computer that had internet access, but it wasn't like he was about to look up such things on there. Same thing went for the school computers. He supposed he could go into town one day and try the internet cafe, but wasn't that a little embarrassing?

Hiroshi Kido had absolutely no idea about what he should do about falling in love with another man. He assumed it wasn't as easy as falling in love with a woman - because what if Handa wasn't interested in men period? Honestly, it was highly plausible. Would he react negatively if he ever found out and hate Hiroshi for life? Hiroshi wouldn't be able to take it if Handa became disgusted with him. How does a man who falls in love with another man deal with everything?

At this point, Hiroshi was wishing that he had heard a rumor about someone being gay in town - maybe then he'd actually have someone to spew his guts out to.

But just because he had these strange, new feelings for Handa didn't mean he was going to avoid him. Why would he avoid the person that made him feel strangely warm and happy? Even if it did confuse and slightly irritate him, not seeing Handa wasn't an option. He had already figured out that being separated from him was no good.

Again, Hiroshi knew he was already in too deep to go back now. But he did know one thing - he was definitely far from ready to confess his feelings to the other man.

"Are you going to stay over and study today as well?" Handa asked as Hiroshi walked in and set down that day's dinner on the counter.

"Yeah, if y'don' mind," Hiroshi opened up the cabinets to grab a couple bowls.

"Not at all!" Handa said cheerily awaiting food.

Hiroshi had eaten at Handa's house every day the past couple weeks. He began to more often bring ingredients instead and cook there because he enjoyed the way Handa would praise his cooking. He would try to teach Handa how to cook the dishes, but Handa would just end up being distracted or not listening very well. Hiroshi knew it was futile to try and teach him even the simplest of recipes, but he didn't mind spending the time with him.

"How 'bout we have nabe tomorrow? 'S startin' to get a bit chilly," Hiroshi suggested as they both sat down at the table to eat.

"Ah, sounds great," Handa's face seemed blissful as he dug into his food.

"Everyone'll prob'ly come over if they so much as hear 'bout it so I guess I gotta bring a lot o' ingredients," Hiroshi knew the girls would probably devour anything with beef in it.

"Too bad it can't just be us two," Handa said casually as he chewed his food.

"Huh?" Hiroshi raised an eyebrow.

Handa shrugged, "Honestly, its been pretty nice having you over so much lately. Ah, its not just because you bring me food though," he laughed lightly. "I guess... because you're just good company? Or you're the closest in the village to my age? Or something..." Handa tapped his chin in thought.

Hiroshi could feel his face slightly heat up, "I ain't a bother?"

"Of course not!" Handa's eyes widened in slight surprise at the accusation. "If I were to be truthful, it might have taken me a while to warm up to you, but now I feel like I could even consider you a friend. You've already done so much for me since moving here - I owe you a lot."

Hiroshi glanced over at Handa to see a big, genuine smile across his face. The look in his eyes seemed truly sincere, almost innocent. It made Hiroshi's chest clench slightly.

"I-It ain't nothin'," Hiroshi's eyes darted away after a few moments and rested his head on his hand to hide part of his face.

"Oh, I've never seen you acting shy before! Is that what it takes to break that tough front of yours? Nice comments?" Handa poked Hiroshi's arm across the table and giggled at his own discovery.

Handa acted like such a child and was even immature at times, but even then Hiroshi liked that side of him. Maybe he liked that innocence and carefree attitude. Maybe it was that that made him want to take care of him.

"Knock it off!" Hiroshi grumbled and swatted Handa's hand away.

"Hehe," Handa seemed pleased with himself that he was finally the one not being made fun of.

"Jeeze, you ain' act much older'n Naru sometimes," Hiroshi scoffed and stood up from the table. "I'm gonna study now so don' bother me," he picked up his book bag and went to sit in the corner of the room with a small lamp.

"Fine, fine. I have to get back to working on this piece anyway," Handa gathered the bowls on the table and took them to the kitchen.

It was pretty common for Hiroshi to begin his school work after they ate and for the two to not say another word to each other until he was done and ready to leave. Both of them concentrated on what they were doing, so it wasn't an awkward silence at all. In fact, knowing that each other were in the same room working just as hard seemed almost pleasant and motivating. Plus, for Hiroshi, just being able to be near Handa was good enough for him.

The two sat there like that for a good while, the only sounds were brush against parchment and textbook pages being flipped. The ringing of Handa's phone cut through the quiet atmosphere.

"Hello? ... Oh, Kawafuji!"

Hiroshi glanced up to watch Handa's back.

"Mm, its going alright... Huh? Really?" Handa straightened up. "When? ... Eh, so soon?" Handa frantically searched the mess on his table. "Uh huh... Right..." Handa grabbed for a piece of paper and pencil that he managed to find and quickly jotted down something. "Alright, see you then." Handa ended the call and let out a long sigh.

"What did Kawafuji-san want?" Hiroshi asked, trying to not sound too interested.

"He's coming here to visit the day after tomorrow. He said my mother has been badgering him about coming to check on me ever since I returned..." Handa grumbled.

"Are you a momma's boy or somethin'?" Hiroshi snickered behind his textbook.

"No! She's just... really worried for no reason," he let out a huff and picked up his brush once again. "Honestly, what is she so frightened about me getting involved with on this island?"

'_I bet she didn't expect a guy to fall in love with her son,'_ Hiroshi thought, laughing a little cynically to himself.

"It looks like he's coming alone this time too," Handa added.

"Bet you're glad t'see your friend again," Hiroshi went back to looking at his notes.

"Well, its not like I haven't seen him in a long time," Handa's brush hovered over the paper. "There aren't any upcoming competitions or deadlines right now though so I guess it'll be less like a business trip and more like a vacation for him."

Hiroshi couldn't see Handa's whole face, but he could tell that he was a little happy about Kawafuji coming to visit. It made sense, it was the only friend Handa had back in Tokyo that Hiroshi had heard of.

He wondered if he could ever make Handa feel like that...

"I think I'm gonna head back home," Hiroshi said, standing up and gathering up his things.

"Alright. See you tomorrow," Handa waved happily.

"Mhm," Hiroshi held up a hand and made his way out of the house.

* * *

><p>It worked out a little that Kawafuji was visiting Handa for a few days when he was, because Hiroshi's baseball team practices had gotten more frequent and longer with the upcoming season. It wasn't like baseball was super serious in his school, but the few games they had per season were enjoyable enough and it was a good way to see people from out of town. Plus baseball was a good sport to vent everything out during and forget everything else going on in his life.<p>

Hiroshi decided he was going to tour a few colleges and check out a job fair in Tokyo. It was a bit nerve wracking to know that he'd be leaving the quiet town to go to the big city, but it was also pretty exciting. There was a whole world lying outside of the island for him. Now more than ever was his chance to experience new things.

But then he remembered the conversation he had with Handa not so long ago. About how dating someone from the island would just be troublesome in his decision about whether he should leave it or not. Handa wasn't from the island, but now that he felt so comfortable living here, would he ever leave?

Hiroshi shook his head and scolded himself. What was he doing already thinking about a future together with him? He was almost positive that there was no way Handa felt the same way about him. It was painful to admit, but it was highly improbable that it would ever work out between them. Hiroshi couldn't even bring himself to confess because of it.

It sucked falling so hard for someone who was so close yet so out of reach. At least, Hiroshi felt, they could probably keep in touch. Both of them had grown closer and were on friendly terms. Maybe if Handa just remained in his life he'd be happy enough...

"Damn, tha's depressing," Hiroshi sighed and adjusted his bag on his shoulder.

The sun was starting to set once practice had ended and now it had gone completely down, only the moon, stars, and a very few number of streetlamps lit the road.

"I wanna see him now..." he continued to mumble to himself.

He wasn't sure if he'd be welcome over while Kawafuji was visiting so he didn't bother stopping by since he came. If he recalled correctly, tonight was Kawafuji's last night before having to leave tomorrow evening. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to stop by just to say that he wanted to visit before Handa's friend had to leave.

And like many times before, his feet had taken him right outside of Handa's house. The lights were on and life could be heard from inside the house. They were probably doing something for Kawafuji's last night there. Maybe it was better not to disturb them...

But Hiroshi still found himself knocking against the sliding door. He could've just invited himself in, but this situation seemed strange to do so.

It took a few moments to hear loud thumps approaching the door, then slamming wide open.

Handa's eyes squinted at first to look at Hiroshi, then they widened and his jaw dropped.

"Hiroooo!" Handa shouted and wrapped his arms around him, putting nearly all of his weight on the younger man.

"S-Sensei, you're heavy!" Hiroshi grunted as he tried to keep both of them standing upright.

It didn't take much to tell that Handa was completely drunk. If the odor didn't do it, the fact that Handa was acting even stranger than usual did it.

"Hiroooo," Handa repeated as he made no attempt to get off of him. "You haven't been by lately..." His speech slurred a bit.

"I... didn' want to disturb you 'n Kawafuji-san," Hiroshi pushed Handa against the door frame with a grunt. "Plus I've been busy."

"Hnnn," Handa pouted and wobbled in place a bit.

"Oh! Its you! Uh... Shiro?" An equally drunk Kawafuji came up to the door with a drink in his hand.

"Its Hiro..." Hiroshi replied, keeping a hand on Handa's shoulder so he wouldn't fall over.

"Hiro-boy! You come ta drink with the adults?" Old man Kotoishi was the next one to pop up. He seemed to have been the one responsible for bringing over the booze.

"Err, nah, I was jus' comin' over t'say hey to Kawafuji-san since he's leavin' tomorrow 'n all," Hiroshi wasn't sure if it was such a good idea to come here after all.

"What a good kid!" Kawafuji let out a laugh and clapped Hiroshi's shoulder.

"Hiro hasn't come by lately, does he hate me?" Handa whined and grabbed onto Kawafuji.

"How could ya do that t' Sensei, Hiro-boy?" Kotoishi commented.

"It's only been a few days!" Hiroshi retorted.

"Well why don' ya come in an' visit with us," Kotoishi invited Hiroshi in.

"I'm not sure if-"

"Yayyyy," Handa tugged at Hiroshi's arm.

In this situation it was really hard for Hiroshi to say no even though he probably should. He didn't know Handa turned so affectionate when he was drunk and that was probably... a really bad idea to be around him in that state.

But with little resistance, Hiroshi let Handa tug him into the house. It looked like the three were playing a card game when Hiroshi knocked on the door. Honestly he wasn't sure how they could even play in this inebriated state.

"These two did good'n helpin' on my farmland t'day so I've been treatin' 'em to some fine alcohol," Kotoishi said as they all plopped down at the table.

"I see... How was it workin' like that?" Hiroshi asked.

"Exhaaausting," Handa exaggerated and propped his head up with his hand, his arm resting on the table.

"Ehh I could take it!" Kawafuji said proudly.

"If I remember correctly you nearly went n' passed out after 'bout two hours there, Kawafuji-san," Kotoishi commented and Handa guffawed.

"Be quiet! I don't remember you being much better," Kawafuji slurred and made a poor attempt of swatting at Handa.

Kotoishi let out a hearty laugh, "Took 'em a while but they did purdy good once they got it together. Hiro here is right good at workin' the fields."

"Huhhh, really?" Handa turned to look over at Hiroshi.

"Well... I did used t'help Kotoishi-san when I was younger for a few bucks," Hiroshi scratched his head and averted his eyes from Handa's stare.

"'Tis a shame I can't get ya workin' fer me no more!" Kotoishi commented.

"Well, y'know, busy with school 'n all," Hiroshi shrugged.

"Hiro is really strong, huh? No wonder..." Handa grabbed Hiroshi's upper arm and gave it a squeeze. "Oh! I didn't know you were so muscular!"

"I-I play baseball now, so..." Hiroshi could feel his ears start to burn just from Handa grabbing him.

"I bet you have nice abs too. I can't really remember from when we went to the beach that time," Handa's eyes lowered to Hiroshi's stomach.

"Er, they're normal?" Hiroshi scooted away from Handa a bit.

"Hmm, I kind of want to see..."

Hiroshi's eyes widened as he saw Handa's hand reaching for the hem of his shirt.

"Um, I don't think tha's a good idea..." Hirosh grabbed the hem of his shirt before Handa could and continued scooting away.

"No fair! I wanna see!" Handa pouted like a child and crawled on hands and knees after him.

"Danggit, Sensei, there ain't no need!" Hiroshi's heart pounded as he felt his escape route end as he had back up right into a corner. "Are none'a ya gonna help me!?"

Kawafuji seemed to have fallen asleep at some point with his head on the table and Kotoishi let out another laugh.

"You two sure get along real well!" The old man simply commented.

"Kotoishi-san!" Hiroshi nearly screeched as Handa had caught up to him.

"Hiro..."

Hiroshi closed his eyes initially, like waiting for something painful to happen. One second, two, three, four, five, passed with nothing happening, just the sound of Handa breathing incredibly close to him. Slowly but reluctantly Hiroshi opened his eyes.

Way too close. Handa's face was wayyy too close for Hiroshi to feel even the slightest bit comfortable. Not only that, but Handa's face was tinted a slight pink, his eyes were dilated and watery and looking straight at him. His hair was messy but still looked so soft...

"S-Sensei..." Hiroshi said under his breath.

This was bad. This was really bad. Hiroshi could actually feel himself getting excited. He could barely keep his eyes off of Handa's soft looking lips... or his pale, smooth neck... or the fact that he could see a little bit down his shirt.

"Hi...ro..." Handa said again.

But this time his head lulled, his eyes closed, and before Hiroshi had any time to react, the feeling of pure, dead weight had come crashing down on his body.

"Bahahaha!" Kotoishi let out another hearty laugh. "Leave it to these lightweights t'pass out so soon!" Kotoishi set his hands on the table and pushed himself up. "Guess this is my cue t'leave."

"Huh!?" Hiroshi snapped out of his haze and looked over at Kotoishi.

The old man pointed at Handa who was now passed out on top of Hiroshi, "I'm 'n old man so I trust ya can handle Sensei," Kotoishi gave a smile that hid a bit of mischief in it. "Good luck, Hiro-boy!" He waved before shutting the door behind him.

"Damn old man!" Hiroshi sighed as he assessed the situation he was now in.

Kawafuji was fine where he was... he guessed. But now he had to get Handa off of him. If not to get him to a better place to sleep but so Hiroshi could keep his cool.

"Sensei, y'don' look it but y'sure weight a ton," Hiroshi grunted as he pushed at Handa's shoulders.

He finally got Handa off of him and laid him down as gently as possible.

"What a pain," Hiroshi grumbled and went to fetch Handa's futon and a blanket for Kawafuji.

After throwing the blanket over the guest, he laid out the futon next to the table. Hiroshi tried to push Handa onto it as gently as possible.

"Nng," Handa grunted and furrowed his brows as he was slowly pushed onto the futon.

Hiroshi let out a sigh when he had finally accomplished getting him on successfully.

"Some kinda adult you are," Hiroshi said quietly as he looked down at Handa.

Handa mumbled something in his sleep and let out a little snort.

Hiroshi let out a short exhale of amusement and felt himself smile slightly. Even in this messy and drunk state it was easy to tell Handa was handsome. And Hiroshi rarely got the chance to see him sleeping, so he found himself enjoying it for a moment.

"Its kinda creepy to watch someone sleep," Hiroshi said to himself, deciding that it was probably best to leave right now.

"Mmn..." Handa mumbled again, stretching his hand out to the side and resting it on the floor.

Hiroshi paused in place, his own hand hovering in the air until he slowly and gingerly grasped a few fingers of Handa's outstretched hand. Handa's fingers gripped Hiroshi's hand slightly in his slumber.

Even if it probably didn't count, it felt really good to hold hands with Handa. Hiroshi slowly rubbed Handa's knuckles with his thumb and continued to watch Handa sleep despite his own comment a moment ago. Handa's palm was a bit rough, probably from years of calligraphy, but the outside of his hand was surprisingly soft.

Handa let out a sigh in his sleep, his lips parting very slightly. Hiroshi wanted to feel the other man's lips against his so badly. He wanted to know what it was like to kiss someone he was head-over-heels for.

Hiroshi reached out with his other hand to softly brush a few of the messy strands of hair away from Handa's face. His heart began to pound faster as Handa's face slowly got close to his. It almost hurt how badly it boomed in his chest. He could feel Handa's breath against his lips. Even if it smelled like alcohol, he didn't care, his lips were so close to the man he loved...

But he couldn't do it. Even thought the opportunity to steal a kiss from the man that he may never get the chance to kiss again was perfect he couldn't do it. This wasn't how Hiroshi envisioned his first kiss to be. He wanted it to be special, romantic. He wanted to see the smile on his partner's face and the blush of happiness before their lips met.

Hiroshi closed his eyes and sat up. He slid his hand out of Handa's and slowly stood up. He let out a long, deep sigh before turning off the lights and shutting the door closed behind him. He wondered if he could ever get over being in love with Handa Seishuu.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe I barely remember you being there last night..." Handa pondered.<p>

Naru and Hiroshi were there to see Kawafuji off, but really they were there just to see the airport again. And of course Hiroshi wanted to see Handa despite how awkward it felt.

"Well, both'a you were pretty drunk," Hiroshi shrugged. He could barely look Handa in the face but he tried acting normal despite that.

"Yeah... That's kind of embarrassing, I hope I didn't do anything too weird," Handa let out a nervous laugh.

"Sensei! Buy me this!" Naru came running up and holding a thimble.

"What the heck are you going to do with that?" Handa crossed his arms.

"I'm gonna give it t'my beetles as a hat!"

"That's not what its for!"

Hiroshi glanced over at the gift shop to see Kawafuji looking intensely at some of the souvenirs. Hiroshi figured that with Handa distracted by Naru it'd be a good time to slip out and pretend to be more interested in what Kawafuji was doing.

"Find anythin' good?" Hiroshi asked as he walked up next to Kawafuji.

"I'm trying to decide if I want to buy one of each or just several of the same one..." He seemed to be inquiring about some of the assorted mochi they had out for display.

"Uh, they're all pretty good I guess..." Hiroshi wondered who in the world he would be buying so much mochi for.

"Eh, I'll just get one," Kawafuji shrugged and picked up a random box.

'_All of that for just one box!?'_ Hiroshi thought to himself.

"Enjoy your stay this time?" Hiroshi asked.

"Hmm, yeah, it was definitely a lot less hectic than last time," Kawafuji's attention was now turned onto some keychains.

"Got to spend more time with Sensei, huh?"

"Mhm," Kawafuji seemed to be studying the keychains just as hard.

"You know him pretty well, right?" Hiroshi scuffed his shoe against the floor, feeling a bit of nervousness well up.

"I suppose you could say that. More than most people do, anyway," Kawafuji answered.

"Err... What kinda person d'you think Sensei would end up with?" Hiroshi ran his fingers through his hair.

"Hm? Like get married to?"

"S-Something like that..."

Kawafuji scoffed, "If he ever could find someone to marry that is... But, if he did..." He thought for a moment. "It would definitely have to be someone that could take care of him and put up with his immature moments..."

Hiroshi listened eagerly. He knew he pretty much did that anyway...

"Someone that's going to to be patient with him... Probably someone who likes him for all his strange quirks so they can even stand putting up with them."

"Hah... Yeah," Hiroshi added.

"Eh, but Handa is a pretty pure-hearted guy, I could see him loving someone unconditionally and being eternally grateful for the person who decides to spend their time with him." Kawafuji grabbed a cutesy keychain off the rack and walked towards the cash register. "Ah, they'd probably have to get his parents approval though. Especially his mother..." Hiroshi swore he could see Kawafuji shiver a bit.

"O-Oh..." Hiroshi didn't like how Handa's mother sounded like from what he heard so far.

"But that won't be for a while. That guy is still too caught up in his calligraphy, which is good for my situation," Kawafuji smirked and paid for his stuff.

"Fine! I'll buy it!" The man in question came storming up to the cash register, slamming the thimble onto the counter.

"Woohoo!" Naru cheered as Handa dug out his wallet.

After the gift shopping everyone gathered near the gate to see Kawafuji off. They watched with bated breath as he passed through the metal detector. To everyone's delight it went off.

"YES!" Naru shouted as Kawafuji patted at his pockets to see what could've set off the alarm.

"What the heck is this!?" He yelled as he pulled out the small thimble from his back pocket.

"Gotcha!" Naru laughed.

"Well you aren't getting it back!" Kawafuji stuck his tongue out and held it out for the gate guard to take.

"Nooo! Tha's my beetle battle helmet!" Naru wailed and bolted towards Kawafuji.

The scene that unfolded was enough to make Hiroshi laugh and feel just a little better about his worries. At least he got to see Handa laugh and smile beside him.

* * *

><p>"Oh, I forgot to say thank you," Handa said in sudden realization as they rode in the back of the mayor's car. Only Naru and Hiroshi came along so no one was getting left behind this time.<p>

"For what?" Hiroshi asked.

"Taking care of me last night. I don't remember much, but Kotoishi-san told me he left early and both Kawafuji and I passed out on you..." Handa looked a little embarrassed. "I woke up in my futon this morning so I know you had to have put me in there, so thanks."

"Oh yeah, no problem... You should control yourself a lil' more, Sensei, you passed out right on top a'me," Hiroshi huffed.

"Eh, really!?" Handa asked in surprise, blushing slightly.

"Yeah, you don' remember that at all?" Hiroshi cocked an eyebrow.

"What was you tryin' t'do to Sensei!" Naru turned around from the front seat and glared at Hiroshi.

"I wasn' doin' anythin'! Sensei was the one harassin' me!" Hiroshi retorted.

"Huh!? What'd I do?" Handa's face reddened even more.

"What'd y'do to my boy, Sensei?" Hiroshi's dad asked jokingly.

"I don't know!" Handa seemed to be going into a panic.

"I-It wasn' a big deal so don' worry 'bout it..." Hiroshi's ears reddened as he tried to play it off. He forgot that Naru and his dad were also in the car.

"But I have to know! Did I do anything bad?" Handa looked at Hiroshi pleadingly.

"You were jus' messin' around..." Hiroshi mumbled and averted his eyes from Handa.

"What did I do, Hiro?" Handa got closer and Hiroshi was not in the mood for getting riled up at the moment.

"You were jus' tryin' to lift up my shirt, tha's all," Hiroshi leaned against the car door and looked out the window.

"Huh? Why would I do that!?" Handa said in surprise.

"Should I be watchin' out for you 'round my boy, Sensei?" The mayor laughed.

"It wasn' like that!" Hiroshi's face flushed a little more. "You was jus' tryin' to see my muscles or somethin'."

"Oh, is that it?" Handa sounded relieved and went back to sitting normally in his seat.

"Yeah... I told you it wasn' a big deal," Hiroshi also felt relief as Handa backed off.

Handa let out a big sigh, "I've been told I get a little too touchy when I've been drinking, so that really worried me."

Hiroshi glanced over at Handa, "What'd you think you might've done to me?"

Handa's cheeks flushed, "N-Nothing!" He turned his head away.

Hiroshi's dad let out another chuckle as both of them sat in the back, their faces slightly red and trying hard to avoid looking at each other.

There was no way Hiroshi would tell him that Handa was actually the one that should've worried about his chastity last night.

* * *

><p><strong>End of Chapter.<strong>

Again this chapter ended up so much longer than expected! So I hope the bit of waiting you had to do for it was well worth it. ^^ I really don't want this story to get too messy and complicated with feelings, but I think its necessary for Hiro to go through a bit of an emotional whirlwind upon finding out how he truly felt.

I've really appreciated all the comments about the story so far and I hope you can continue to enjoy it. See you next time! :*


	8. Chapter 8

"So, how'd your date go last night?"

"Oh, it was awesome! It got pretty hot n' heavy!"

"Eh, I'm jealous! Damn, I wish I could feel how soft a girl is, lucky bastard."

"You ain't lived until you've had a girl's boobs in your hands."

"Stop braggin' you jerk!"

Hiroshi tried not to let out an audible groan as the two classmates sitting next to him talked unnecessarily loudly about such private matters. He wished he could tell even one person about the one he liked, but he doubted he'd get reactions like the two beside him if he talked about another man.

Hiroshi had never wished for the teacher to come in and start the class more than now as the two beside them continued their vulgar talk. There was a time when he'd probably be more interested in hearing what they had to say, but Handa didn't have breasts nor did he have the curvaceous body of a woman. Instead his chest was flat and his body was slim and muscular. Far from what he had found attractive until this point.

But it didn't matter. Handa was... Handa. He'd already established that was the person he ended up falling for.

The ringing of the school bell and the shuffling of chairs as the teacher walked in was a welcomed distraction.

* * *

><p>Class felt unnecessarily long that day, and Hiroshi wasn't sure if he should be excited about going to Handa's house straight after school to get some studying done. On one hand, it was really nice that he could go to his crush's house virtually anytime he wanted to - he even had the keys to the place. On the other hand, he felt as if he could never bring himself to confess, so it was a little painful being near them knowing that.<p>

But Hiroshi figured it might be okay like this. Every day his feelings for Handa grew stronger, but maybe one day he might come to terms with not being able to be with him. Maybe if Handa found someone to settle down with and have a family with, Hiroshi's feelings could be laid to rest. He hoped that it wouldn't just break his heart, but maybe seeing Handa happy would be enough...

Hiroshi let out a deep sigh and looked up at the sky. Sometimes he wondered why it had to be Handa. Why couldn't it have been a girl in his class, or maybe a co-worker a few years in the future. But there was so much about Handa that Hiroshi liked that it was plainly obvious why the goofy calligrapher ended up winning his heart.

"Somethin' interestin' up there?"

Hiroshi heard a voice behind him and came down from the clouds to look at the person who had trotted up beside him.

"Oh, no, not really. Jus' thinkin'," Hiroshi saw Miwa with her schoolbag as well.

"Thinkin' 'bout what?" She questioned.

"Lots o' stuff. I got graduation comin' up an' everythin'... My whole future," Hiroshi sighed again.

"Hmm, must be rough. I sure ain't lookin' forward to that. Then again I'm prob'ly jus' gonna help out with my dad when I get older," Miwa said with a carefree tone.

"Must be nice..." Hiroshi mumbled.

"You really ain't gonna be the next mayor like your dad?"

"Nah... I don't wanna be tied to this island," Hiroshi replied. "I wanna feel like I can go anywhere I want..."

"Hmm, well good luck t'ya!" Miwa slapped a hand on his back.

"Thanks..." Hiroshi said halfheartedly.

"You headin' to Sensei's place?" Miwa asked.

"Yeah... gonna make him some dinner."

"Ohhh yeah! I'm definitely comin' too then!" Miwa shouted.

"Don't go eatin' it all now! Sensei doesn't eat enough as it is," Hiroshi crossed his arms.

"Jeeze, I ain't that much of a glutton. You're jus' like Sensei's mom or somethin'," Miwa giggled a bit.

"Its jus' Sensei is really bad at takin' care of himself," Hiroshi retorted.

"Well, I can't say you ain't wrong there," Miwa couldn't help but agree.

The conversation died down after that. Even if the atmosphere wasn't awkward, Hiroshi felt awkward. Probably because there was something he wanted to get off of his chest for so long. Asking Kawafuji offhandedly didn't do much to help except to make him even more nervous about the situation. At this point he really didn't have anyone to turn to and he was getting desperate.

"Err, Miwa, can I ask you somethin' a lil' personal?" Hiroshi palmed at his neck in nervousness and looked off to the side.

"Uh, maybe..." Miwa replied hesitantly.

"No, its nothin' bad its jus'... Have you ever... liked someone?" Hiroshi tried to prevent his voice from wavering much.

"Like someone?" Miwa paused for a moment. "Hiro-nii... do you have someone you like!?" She shouted.

"No! No! I'm jus' askin'!" Hiroshi's face was bright red as he turned to look at the girl that he probably shouldn't have just admitted something so important to.

"Who is it!? I gotta know!" Her face was filled with pure glee while Hiroshi's was full of dread.

"No one! Its jus'..." Hiroshi was flustered trying to get her to be quiet.

He could feel himself getting upset. Oh god, what if Miwa found out and told Handa? It would be devastating, he knew it would be.

Hiroshi held his hands up to his face, taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

"I shouldn'tve told you..." He felt like sinking into the ground and disappearing at that moment. He felt like he had messed everything up.

"Hi... Hiro-nii?" Miwa's voice was quieter now.

Hiroshi could feel her place a hand on his arm.

"Don't tell anyone, please..." Hiroshi said in a raspy voice. He couldn't take his hands down from his face, he didn't know why, but that was the only thing he could do to 'hide' at that point.

"I-I won' so calm down!" Miwa sounded a bit worried. "I didn' know it was this serious... sorry, Hiro-nii..."

Hiroshi took a deep breath. That's right, Miwa might be a trouble maker, but she wasn't a bad person. If it was something that'd hurt someone mentally or physically she wouldn't do it.

"Lets jus' go sit over there for a sec, okay?" Miwa suggested.

Hiroshi lowered his hands and saw her pointing near a tree off the side of the road.

"Y-Yeah..."

The two headed over and sat down in the shade.

"Jeez, Hiro-nii, you outright scared me! I ain't ever seen you in such a state," Miwa huffed. "I guess I won' ask why this girl has you so scared about them knowin' you like them..."

"Its jus'... really complicated..." Hiroshi replied as he looked down at the grass and the leaves already beginning to fall from the trees.

"But you really like her, right?" Miwa asked.

Hiroshi couldn't bring himself to correct Miwa about the gender, so he went along with it. "Yeah... I do."

Miwa sighed and crossed her arms, "So why can't you jus' go 'n confess?"

"I said its complicated," Hiroshi repeated.

"So what? What's the most that could happen? You get rejected? Well then you jus' pick yourself up an' brush yourself off an' say 'Well I was too good fer her anyway!'" Miwa nodded with confidence.

"If only it was that simple," Hiroshi chuckled at Miwa's naive confidence.

"Honestly, Hiro-nii, she's a fool if she don' like you!" Miwa nodded and patted Hiroshi on the shoulder.

Hiroshi knew she was just saying all these things to cheer him up, and actually, it was working. He chuckled again.

"But if they end up bein' that 'fool' and denyin' me... I would be sad if I could never see 'em again."

Miwa thought for a moment before replying. "Well then, tell 'em that. Tell 'em that they mean a lot to you an' if you two can't be together its okay as long as you can be friends. But then you really gotta let her go, Hiro-nii."

Hiroshi turned to face Miwa who looked a bit uncharacteristically serious.

"You gotta be happy for her if she finds someone else to be with."

Hiroshi could feel his chest clench at those words, but they were true. He couldn't believe that a middle-schooler with probably no dating experience was more well-versed than he was about this situation. She watched way too much TV...

"Yeah, you're right," Hiroshi sighed as he looked out at the horizon of where the sun was beginning to set.

"Well let's get our minds off it for now an' go visit Sensei!" She stood up and brushed herself off. "Then you can make us some food!"

"Remember, the food is mostly for Sensei," Hiroshi replied. Not to mention that going to the house of the source of his problem was for from 'getting it off his mind'.

Miwa was back to her perky demeanor as she waited for Hiroshi to continue their walk to Handa's house.

"By the way, where's Tama t'day?"

"She went in'ta town because there was some manga comin' out she really wanted," Miwa explained. "Wait..." She looked over at Hiroshi, "Don't tell me, she's..."

"It ain't Tama!" Hiroshi answered before she could finish the question.

* * *

><p>"We're here, Sensei!" Miwa hummed as she slammed the door open.<p>

There was silence for a moment until Handa finally called out from the kitchen,"O-Oh, hey guys."

"Watcha doin'?" Miwa went off to investigate.

Hiroshi took off his school bag and set it near the table.

"Ah... I needed a couple things for Hiro's meal today and had to rush out and get them before he came," Handa was unpacking things from a bag. He must've just gotten home himself. "You two came together?"

"Yeah, we was both headin' over and ran into each other," Miwa explained.

"Oh, I see..." Handa's eyes were fixed on the few ingredients that he had laid out in front of him. "Err, I have a lot of work to do so I can't chat much, sorry," Handa said with a little stiffness to his voice.

"Guess I'll start cookin' then," Hiroshi walked into the kitchen rolling up his sleeves.

"I'll leave you to it," Handa's eyes darted away as Hiroshi walked in and quickly went back to his table in the main room to continue his calligraphy.

"Sensei's bein' a little weirder than usual, don'tcha think?" Miwa whispered to Hiroshi.

"Yeah, a little," Hiroshi mentally scratched his head as he looked out to where Handa was sitting.

He would've chalked it up to their awkward exchange in the car from the airport, but they had seen each other since then and had pretty much mutually decided to shrug off the whole drunk incident. Hiroshi was glad for that because then he could hang out at Handa's house like usual. But today he seemed a little finicky and distant.

Deciding not to worry about it too much, Hiroshi instead concentrated on getting the meal done with a little help from Miwa. He chopped the vegetables while she cleaned the shrimp and started up the rice. Hiroshi did the rest of the preparation, battering everything and making sure they were fried to crispy perfection.

"It smells so good," Miwa sighed as Hiroshi laid out the last few pieces of tempura on a paper towel.

"I made enough for all of us so don' go eatin' all'a Sensei's portion," Hiroshi reminded.

"Jeez, how many times are you goin' t'say that!" Miwa puffed her cheeks.

Hiroshi chuckled a bit.

"Dinner's ready!" Hiroshi called as he plated everything and brought out two portions

"Thank you," Handa smiled slightly as Hiroshi passed him his plate.

Miwa brought out her plate and the dipping sauce.

"Thanks a bunch, Hiro-nii," Miwa chimed as she started on her food immediately.

Handa picked up a piece and took a small bite.

"Ahhh its hot but its good!" Miwa said, her eyes watering a bit.

"It just came out the frier, dummy," Hiroshi commented.

"Ouch...!" Handa cupped a hand to his mouth.

"You okay, Sensei?" Hiroshi leaned over towards him.

"I-I'm fine, just burnt my tongue a bit," Handa waved it off.

"I'll get you some water," Hiroshi stood up and rushed to the kitchen and was back in an instant. "Here, y'go."

Handa took the glass slowly and took a sip. "Thank you... But don't you think Miwa needs some as well?"

"Huh?" Hiroshi looked over at the girl who's face was stuffed with food. "She don' need it," he said bluntly.

Miwa nodded, "I can get my own water."

"But... aren't you..." Handa looked back and forth between the two.

"What're you goin' on about?" Hiroshi asked, a little confused.

"Er, nothing," Handa chuckled a bit nervously.

"Um, I'm gonna go get me somethin' t'drink," Miwa announced and stood up from the table.

"You alright, Sensei?" Hiroshi asked in quiet voice.

"I'm fine! I'm just feeling a bit off... Nothing to be worried about," Handa shrugged his shoulders.

"You sure? You gettin' enough sleep? Do you got a fever?" Hiroshi's brows furrowed as he worried over Handa.

"Hiro, there's no need to be so concerned," Handa said in a more firm tone.

"... Alright..." Hiroshi backed off a bit in time for Miwa to return.

The rest of the meal was spent in relative silence. The only thing preventing it from being completely devoid of conversation was Miwa's occasional comments, and Hiroshi was actually grateful for that.

"That really hit the spot," Miwa said as she rubbed her stomach contently.

"Yes it was really great, thank you, Hiro," Handa added.

"No problem, you guys," Hiroshi gathered the plates and stood up.

"Ah, I'll get those," Handa stood up as well and reached for the plates.

"You sure?" Hiroshi asked.

"Yes, you two cooked the meal so I'll clean up," Handa gave a faint smile and grabbed the dishes from Hiroshi.

"You sure you don' need help?" Hiroshi called after him.

"Just start on your studying!" Handa called back.

"Guess I'll do that," Hiroshi said to himself and went to get his bag.

"Eh, boring, I don' wanna stay for that," Miwa grumbled.

"Then go home, you only came for the food anyway," Hiroshi commented.

"Hmm, think I will," Miwa stood up and stretched.

"Oh, if Miwa is going home you should walk her," Handa said from the kitchen.

"Huh? I don' need to do that," Hiroshi said, a bit bewildered. Miwa walked by herself from Handa's house all the time, so why would he need to do it today?

"Because its getting late!" Handa stood at the threshold of the kitchen, drying a plate with a towel.

"So? She can find her way home herself," Hiroshi replied.

"Yeah, I ain't a baby, Sensei. And this ain't Tokyo - even Naru goes home in the dark by herself," Miwa added.

"I still think you should walk her home," Handa was firm on his decision.

"I got studyin' t'do!" Hiroshi was getting a bit irked now.

"What'll you do if something bad happens to Miwa on her way home? Wouldn't you feel awful knowing you weren't with her?"

"What the hell're you goin' on about, Sensei? Nothin's gonna happen!" Hiroshi wasn't sure why Handa was being so strange about this situation. In fact, he was strange since the moment they arrived at the house.

"Yeah, what is up with you, Sensei?" Miwa added.

Handa sighed, holding the plate and towel in one hand and crossing his arms. "Like I said, I'm very busy today so maybe its best if both of you just go home for today."

And with that he turned back around into the kitchen.

"If y'jus' wanted us t'leave you shoulda jus' said so!" Hiroshi shouted.

He slammed his books into his bag and jerked it onto his shoulder.

"C'mon, Miwa," he said as he headed out the door.

For once, Miwa didn't say a word and followed Hiroshi out who was already on the main road.

"Wait up, Hiro-nii!" She called out, but he didn't seem to pay attention to her. She ran to catch up with him, "Why'd you get so angry? Maybe Sensei's jus' havin' a bad day and he didn' want to jus' ask us t'leave..."

"I dunno, alright?" Hiroshi said in frustration. "His attitude was jus' pissin' me off."

"Hiro-nii..." Miwa said quietly.

"Sorry, Miwa, do you mind if I jus' head home? I feel like if I walk you home I'll jus' end up takin' more of my frustration out on you," Hiroshi took a deep breath.

"Its okay! Like I said, I was planin' on it anyway," Miwa tried sounding cheerful. "Don' get too upset with Sensei, he's kind of a kid himself."

With that last word of reassurance Miwa set off to her own house and Hiroshi was left alone.

Miwa was probably right and Handa was probably just having an off day, so why did Hiroshi get so angry? The events of his day up until then probably didn't help, but that didn't mean he had to blow up like he did.

But just the thought that Handa wanted him to get out of his house that badly was... upsetting to say the least. That night when Handa was drunk seemed excited to see Hiroshi after only a few days absence actually made him feel a little happy. Because that meant that Handa enjoyed Hiroshi's company - it was like a confirmation that he wasn't a bother and was actually welcomed.

So why this sudden change of heart? Hiroshi had spent time at his house when he was busy with his work plenty of times before. They often just sat there for hours, each doing their own work without interruption. What had changed? Was it really that drunk incident? Did Handa wake up while Hiroshi almost kissed him and suddenly remember?

Whatever it was, it hurt to hear Handa ask Hiroshi to leave in such a way. And it hurt to know that Hiroshi was far from ready from letting go of his feelings for Handa.

* * *

><p>"Ah, I got so caught up in work that I nearly forgot to buy the panko and oil," Handa sighed to himself as he peeked into the bag with his newly purchased items.<p>

Hiroshi was coming over that evening and he said he wanted to make tempura. Handa had Hiroshi's tempura before when they went on a picnic and remembered it being amazing. So he'd be lying if he said he wasn't excited to eat it again.

Handa was almost surprised at how well of a young man Hiroshi was. Although a little brash at times and a little reluctant to show his true feelings - he was truly a great guy. He even worked really hard for his last year at school. Not to mention his great leadership and amazing cooking. Handa always felt spoiled whenever Hiroshi did something for him.

So after the night he got drunk, it was a complete relief to find out he didn't assault him. Handa knew he lost pretty much all semblance of personal space when he was under the influence, so who knows what kind of things he _could've_ done. He wasn't sure if he could live with himself if he did something awful to Hiroshi in his drunken stupor. But thankfully, he passed out before he could do much, and Hiroshi seemed to have not thought it a big deal.

Handa was nearly halfway home when he heard a murmur that broke through the silence of the fall evening. It was a natural reaction to look in the direction of the noise and see what it was.

"Oh, its Hiro," Handa could notice the blond hair from a mile away.

Hiroshi was sitting in the shade of a tree, but it was obvious he wasn't alone by the fact that he seemed to be talking with someone.

Handa moved a few more step to see a head of short, brown hair.

"Miwa?" Handa said to himself.

Hiroshi let out a laugh and smiled warmly, Miwa smiled as well and set a hand on his shoulder.

"!" Handa's heart jumped a bit as he felt like he witnessed something secret.

He adjusted the bag in his hand and quickly continued his walk back to his house.

Did he just witness something he shouldn't have? Were Hiroshi and Miwa...?

It would make sense, they did seem pretty friendly with each other, even picked on each other often. Handa wasn't sure if he could approve of their age gap, but he figured that kind of thing sort of happened on a small island like this. When they both reached adulthood that age gap would mean nothing.

Handa shook his head - what was he doing, already thinking of them going into adulthood together!? He wasn't even sure if they were actually dating or not.

And Hiroshi said he wasn't looking for a relationship right now. Could he have changed his mind? Love can make you make rash decisions, or so he'd heard.

For some reason it made him feel a bit strange though. He didn't really like the fact that he saw them sharing an intimate moment together. Maybe because it seemed so private, but it didn't settle well with him.

Well, if they were together... he supposed all he could do was support them as much as he could. But now he was feeling nervous about how to act around them. Especially Hiroshi who came over so much lately.

He fumbled with his key to the house and eventually got the door open. After getting in, he shut the door quietly and walked into the kitchen, setting the bag on the counter down. He wasn't sure how long he was standing there until he heard his door slam open and Miwa announce their arrival.

Almost instantly, Handa's heart began to pound and suddenly he didn't want to see Miwa and he especially didn't want to see Hiroshi. Why did he have to witness what he did only moments earlier? It took everything that he had to call out from the kitchen, settle his heart, and hope the rest of the night went alright.

* * *

><p><strong>End of Chapter.<strong>

Uhg, misunderstandings. ;~; Dang, I didn't plan for so much drama but it wormed its way in here! I hope that's something you guys can enjoy though? I'm really happy to see people enjoying the story, though. Thank you!

Also if you haven't heard, **I've started a poll!** I want to know what oneshot my readers want to see next, so I'm asking all of you! Since I can't link on here, you can find the link to the poll either on my profile or my twitter (Squatta_Writes). You have until December 10th to vote and the winner will be posted December 24th.

See you next time! :*


	9. Chapter 9

Hiroshi blew up at Handa and he knew he was wrong for that. The calligrapher was probably just having an off day. If he was going to accept living with his feelings never being reciprocated, Hiroshi would have to learn how to control himself a little better.

Staying away from Handa wasn't an option either. Despite it probably being for the best to try and slowly drift apart from him, Hiroshi knew he'd feel miserable not seeing him. He wanted them to be friends, even after they both grew older, maybe eventually got married to other people. He hoped by then he would find someone else to ease the heartbreak of never being with Handa. Yes, as long as they could still remain as friends, maybe Hiroshi could do it.

Hiroshi knew he was going to have to apologize to Handa in order to take that first step. None of it was Handa's fault, and Hiroshi yelling at him was not fixing his own personal problems.

So without sparing another thought, Hiroshi went to Handa's house as usual the next day with the food his mother had prepared. He'd already tried the silent treatment before and it never worked out well. Besides, Hiroshi felt like this time it was his own fault.

"Sensei," Hiroshi called out a little cautiously as he slid the door to the house open.

As he walked through the threshold of the door and took off his shoes, he noticed Handa sitting in his usual spot, looking slightly surprised and a little uneasy at Hiroshi's presence.

"O-Oh... Hello, Hiro," he said in a fake, cheery voice.

"I brought your food," Hiroshi held up the bowl in his hands.

"Ah, thanks as usual," Handa nodded.

Hiroshi let out a short huff, "I'll go grab some bowls."

"Er, alright..." Hiroshi heard Handa say, a little confused, as he walked to the kitchen.

A few moments later, Hiroshi returned and sat a bowl and chopsticks in front of Handa and set the food and his own bowl down as well.

"I'm sorry for yellin' at you yesterday, Sensei," Hiroshi said. "I was jus' a lil' upset so I didn' mean anythin' by it."

"No! It's fine..." Handa shook his head, "I was in the wrong too..."

"How so? It's your house - if you wan' us t'leave tha's somethin' we should respect," Hiroshi interjected.

"Well..." Handa paused for a moment. "I still feel bad for having you make me food and then asking you to leave afterward. Also, its not like I mind you staying over. The others do it of their own accord and just cause trouble. At least you're either helpful or diligently studying."

"I'm glad you don' mind me here, I guess," Hiroshi said a little shyly, turning his head away from Handa.

"Of course - you're always welcome here!" Handa seemed to be in a better mood. "Ah, but sometimes I really do need to concentrate on my work without anyone around. Sometimes calligraphy is an almost a private matter."

"Makes sense," Hiroshi agreed.

Hiroshi watched as Handa got some champon out of the bowl and put it in his own. Hiroshi did the same and got his own portion after Handa was finished. It was something that his mother seemed to make a lot of because she got it in her head that it was 'Sensei's favorite'. Either way, Handa didn't seem to mind and ate all of it every time.

Hiroshi's eyes drifted off to the piles of calligraphy Handa had apparently been working on that day. It was still amazing to see that Handa worked on so many pieces in a single day - even if he would just say they were all just practice sketches.

He mindlessly shifted through the papers, honestly impressed and almost mesmerized over the simplicity yet beauty about them. He felt like they alone could be worthy of being bought and sold by many people. He was sure that there were plenty people who _would_ like to own these.

Looking through all of them, one caught his eye. Not because it was any more special than the others, but he recognized a character from his name in it. Its not like it was actually his name, but the fact that Handa had written it... It felt a little special.

"Do'ya ever give these away?" Hiroshi asked.

"Hm? Not really, I keep a lot in that room," Handa shrugged towards the room near them. The one Hiroshi had discovered the first day he came to deliver food to Handa. "But some of the ones I don't like I just throw away.

"So... would it be alrigh' if I took one o' these?" Hiroshi asked, not trying to sound too hopeful.

"Sure, those are really just ideas I was getting out of my head," Handa replied. "Ah, I'm kind of flattered that you'd want one," he chuckled.

"Er... Just thought my mom'd want one... maybe..." Hiroshi mumbled and neatly slipped the one that caught his eye into his backpack.

"Ah..." Handa seemed a little disappointed at that.

"Um, anyway, why were you so persistent 'bout me walkin' Miwa home yesterday? Just curious since I've never really done it before," Hiroshi looked up at Handa.

Handa froze a bit and his eyes darted from Hiroshi back to to his bowl.

"I just thought maybe you should start? I mean, its just manners as a man..."

"Then why don' you walk her home?" Hiroshi narrowed his eyes.

"Huh? But shouldn't it be you who..." Handa poked at his champon, not completing his sentence.

"Shouldn' I what?" Hiroshi asked in confusion.

"SENSEI!" Loud voices suddenly sounded from beside them, giving Handa a fright.

It looked like Miwa, Tama, Naru, and even Hina had all shown up.

"Ohh, food!" Miwa said as she approached them.

"It ain' for you its for Sensei!" Hiroshi scolded as he swatted Miwa's hand away.

"Hiro-nii... You n' Sensei were havin' dinner... alone?" Tama asked, her voice slightly shaking.

"Huh? Yeah, I've been doin' that a lot lately," Hiroshi shrugged.

"Oh, 'scuse me, then..." Tama said quietly as she turned around and walked out of the house.

"Uh..." Hiroshi looked on in confusion.

"Eh, I'm sure she'll be back in soon," Miwa waved it off, "She prob'ly needed t'have a moment."

"Moment...?" Hiroshi raised an eyebrow.

"Anyway, Sensei, how're you feelin' today?" Miwa went on without answering Hiroshi's question.

"I'm feeling better, thanks," Handa replied.

"Hiro-nii! I said you ain' allowed t' be alone with Sensei!" Naru growled and bared her teeth, Hina stood behind her already looking a little teary-eyed.

"Aww jeeze, Naru! You still hung up abou' that?" Hiroshi rolled his eyes.

"Oh, the whole thing about Naru thinkin' her bride is gonna be taken away?" Miwa said with a laugh.

"Yeah! She won' leave me alone 'bout it," Hiroshi grimaced. He hated that at first he thought it was ridiculous, but now he really did feel like he would actually consider battling Naru for Handa's affection.

"It's okay, Naru, Hiro-nii's got his eye on someone else," Miwa said.

"Miwa!" Hiroshi shouted, his face turning red instantly. His sudden outburst frightened Hina who started to cry.

"Ah!" Miwa covered her mouth in sudden realization. "Oh no, I'm sorry, Hiro-nii! I didn' mean to!"

"Eh, really?" Naru looked over at Hiroshi. "Aww yeah! I win! Sensei is my bride!" She pumped her fist in the air.

"Ah, jeeze..." Hiroshi buried his face in his hands.

Naru began to tend to a wailing Hina after her moment of celebration.

"Jus' forget what I said!" Miwa tried to salvage it, but it was already too late.

"Oh... congratulations, then!" Hiroshi heard Handa say.

Hiroshi lifted his head to look in Handa's direction. Handa's face was slightly flushed and his eyes were staring off to the side.

"I hope it works out for you..." He said a little halfheartedly.

"I..." Hiroshi didn't know what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell Handa something, anything, but he couldn't think of a single word.

Hiroshi wished he could just dissolve into the floor right then and there.

"Ahh, I'm back," and to break the awkward atmosphere, Tama had returned from whatever she was up to.

"Oh, Tama!" Miwa seemed equally relieved to see her. "Did ya bring that magazine that I asked ya t'get from town?"

"Ah, I nearly forgot," Tama took off her backpack and searched around.

Hina seemed to have calmed down by now, and the awkwardness had dissipated a bit, but that didn't change anything about what Hiroshi was feeling.

"Um..." Hiroshi rubbed his neck and looked down at his empty bowl. "I kinda jus' realized I have a big project that's due in a couple days, an' all the materials for it are at home, so," he stood up with the bowl in his hand. "I'm gonna head home for t'day. Don' worry 'bout the dish, I'll jus' pick it up tomorrow."

"Alright..." Handa smiled faintly.

Hiroshi couldn't wait to get out of the house and be alone. He quickly rushed to gather his stuff and get his shoes on. He waved goodbye to everyone and noticed Miwa mouthing 'sorry' to him. He knew it wasn't Miwa's fault - she didn't do it on purpose, but now Handa knew. Sort of. Handa knew Hiroshi was interested in someone and judging by his reaction he was pretty taken aback about it. Hiroshi figured it probably had to do with the fact that Hiroshi had previously stated he wasn't looking for a relationship at the moment. The only thing he could hope for was that Handa didn't get too curious and start asking questions.

When he arrived home, Hiroshi headed straight to his bedroom. He dropped his backpack on the floor and noticed a slight crunching sound. Furrowing his brow, he knelt down to open his backpack.

"Ah..." Hiroshi reached in and pulled out the calligraphy Handa had made. "Danggit, it got bent..." He grumbled as he tried to straighten it out.

He sighed and walked to his bed, the sheet in his hand. Lying down on his back, he held it up over his head. He wasn't sure how long he stared at it - stared at the one character on the page that was in his name. He knew it was silly, but his eyes remained on that one single character amongst all the others. Before he realized it, his arms were becoming sore from holding them up for so long.

Lowering his arms, he set the piece of paper on top of his chest, still holding on to it. Maybe this would be the closest he'd ever be to Handa. This piece of parchment. Especially after today, he didn't know what Handa would be thinking.

The piece of paper felt surprisingly heavy... or maybe it was the feeling of his heart clenching in his chest. Hiroshi closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.

Maybe instead of trying to wait for it to go away, he should just end it once and for all. The pain wasn't worth it - he had to tell Handa. Handa was a good guy, maybe he would understand. Hiroshi didn't expect him to accept his confession, but he hoped that Handa would still be okay with being on good terms. And Miwa was right - Hiroshi would have to learn to let Handa go, and maybe getting denied from the man himself would be the thing to help him move on.

Heartbreak was a common thing, right? Not everyone ended up with their first loves. Hell, wasn't it expected for first loves to not work out? Hiroshi would just have to take this as a lesson learned. Maybe he was even lucky to probably remain on good terms with his first love.

Hiroshi took in another deep breath and let it in a long exhale. He could feel a warm drop of liquid fall from his eye and covered his face with his forearm. Heartbreak might be common, but it was still painful. Hiroshi hadn't even confessed and he was already in this state. He couldn't imagine what it was going to be like when it actually happened. He hoped he wouldn't break down in front of Handa.

Hiroshi wiped at his eyes as he felt another tear roll down his cheek.

He hadn't cried since the first day at Handa's house.

* * *

><p>It was good that it was a weekend, because Hiroshi didn't get up until noon the next day. But the way he was woken up was less than ideal.<p>

"Hiro! Get up! You ain' gonna be sleepin' the whole day away!" His mother banged on his door.

Hiroshi grumbled with the grogginess of being woken up in such a way. As he wiped the sleep from his eyes, he suddenly realized that he had actually fallen asleep in his previous day's clothes with the sheet of calligraphy resting on top of him.

"Aww, keep it down, will ya?" Hiroshi groaned as he stretched and set the sheet of paper on the desk next to him.

His mother instantly burst through the door, an angry and terrifying expression on her face. Before Hiroshi knew it, his hair was being gripped at the root and yanked up.

"Ow, ow!" Hiroshi protested, trying to pry his mother's hands off of the fistful of his hair.

"Don' talk back to me, boy!" She growled.

"Okay! I got it!" Hiroshi shouted back. To his relief, his mother let go of her death grip. "You nearly gave me a bald spot."

"Good, then you wouldn' have that ridiculous hair anymore!" His mother retorted. "Anyway, I need ya t' get this food over t'Sensei! Its his lunch time!"

"Is that the only reason you woke me up?" Hiroshi asked while rubbing at his scalp.

"Of course!" Mrs. Kido said matter-of-factly. "Also, why're you still in your clothes you wore yesterday?"

Hiroshi simply grumbled and stood up from his bed. "Was jus' tired I guess," he mumbled.

He really didn't want to face Handa again so soon, especially after what he had decided the previous night. But maybe it would be for the best to get it over with as soon as possible.

"Oh! Is this Sensei's?" Hiroshi looked over to see his mother picking up the calligraphy he was given yesterday.

"Yeah... he said I could have it," Hiroshi shrugged.

"Ah, its so lovely," Mrs. Kido swooned over the piece.

"... Do you want it?" Hiroshi asked hesitantly.

"Ah," his mother gave an excited expression, then her face relaxed into a smile. "Sensei gave it t'you, right? It must be special then." She set the piece of paper back down on his desk. "Now hurry up an' go deliver the food t'Sensei!"

In a matter of minutes, Hiroshi's mother got him to change into some new clothes and shooed him out of the house, food in hand. He could already feel his stomach turning, but it was now or never. The only thing keeping Hiroshi levelheaded was the fact that Handa was very forgiving, maybe too much for his own good. He had a good chance of putting Hiroshi down gently and choose to pretend the whole ordeal never happened and they could continue being friends. If Hiroshi heard the denial from Handa himself, it might be a bigger shock to reality. Then he just might be able to get over his feelings for him.

Hiroshi rapped on the door a few times, hearing a voice of confirmation, and slid it open.

"Brought your lunch," Hiroshi announced as he walked in.

"Thanks, Hiro," Handa said as usual, not paying much attention as he continued with his work. He'd really gotten used to interruptions.

"How is your project coming along?" Hiroshi heard Handa's voice from the kitchen as he went to set the bowl down on the counter.

"Oh... Its going great," Hiroshi nearly forgot the fib he made up to leave Handa's house the previous night. He walked back out of the kitchen to see Handa's paintbrush set down and his full attention on him

"Glad to hear it," Handa replied. "Also, about last night..."

"I actually wanted to talk 'bout that," Hiroshi's heart started to pound. He didn't think the subject would be brought up so soon. He wasn't sure if he was ready for it.

"Oh, its not a big deal, and I promise I won't tell anyone. I already knew about it anyway," Handa said with a bit of a coy expression, scratching the back of his head.

Hiroshi's eyes widened and it felt as if his heart had just jumped off a cliff. Handa... knew? Knew what? That Hiroshi liked someone? That Hiroshi... liked him?

"Uh..." Hiroshi cleared his throat, trying to keep his words steady. "What exactly... d'you know?"

"Ah, that you like someone... and who you like..." Handa's face reddened a bit. "At first I was kind of shocked, but..."

"Sensei!" Hiroshi interrupted, getting down on his knees and closer to Handa. "You know?" His heart was back to beating violently in his chest.

"Mhm," Handa nodded his head. "For some reason it bothered me a bit... I'm not sure why."

Hiroshi chest tightened, "I wouldn' blame you... its weird, right?" He laughed nervously.

"Its not!" Handa spoke up, "I mean, for you two who have probably known each other so long its only natural, isn't it?

"...Huh?" Hiroshi's emotions came to a screeching halt, "Who're you talkin' 'bout?"

"Eh? Aren't you and Miwa dating?" Handa looked equally confused.

"Huh!? We ain' datin'!" Hiroshi nearly shouted.

"What? But I saw you two by the tree and..." Handa scratched his head in continued bafflement.

"By the tree? I don' even know what'n the hell you're talkin' 'bout," Hiroshi was feeling frustrated more than anything. Handa making him think that he knew of Hiroshi's feelings the whole time gave him a shock.

"I-I was so sure that you and Miwa..." Handa was a bit surprised over being wrong, but almost seemed a little relieved.

"Well it ain'," Hiroshi huffed.

"Then... is it Tama? Some cute girl from your class? Maybe some girl you met in town...? Ah, maybe its a -"

"Dammit, it ain' none of them! Its you, alrigh'!? You're the one I like!" Hiroshi yelled, immediately followed by complete silence in the room.

Even though letting it off his chest felt strangely refreshing, Hiroshi was now feeling a whole different sort of pressure. He could feel his ears burning and the silence that followed his outburst was excruciating. He didn't want to look over at Handa, but it wasn't like the two of them could sit there forever after he made such a major announcement. So Hiroshi took it upon himself to slowly look over at the man next to him.

He wasn't sure if it was a face of pure shock, befuddlement, terror, or all of the above. But Hiroshi could definitely confirm that Handa's face was redder than he had ever seen. Once Handa realized Hiroshi had looked over at him, his eyes quickly diverted away and he began to nervously fiddle his hands in his lap.

"U-Um..." Handa mumbled. "W-What are you talking about, Hiro? I don't think I understand..."

"Wha's there not t'understand? I like you," the cat was out of the bag now. All Hiroshi had to do was get an answer out of Handa so he could lay this whole situation to rest.

"You mean... you like me as a friend?" Handa asked, looking down at his hands.

"Yes an' no," Hiroshi replied, feeling oddly calm now that everything was out in the open. "I like you as a friend but I wan' us to be more. I wanna be with you, date you n' stuff. I wanna kiss you an'-"

"O-Okay, I get it..." Handa interrupted.

Hiroshi sighed, "Well now you know the truth."

"How long have you...? You know..." Handa still hadn't looked up at Hiroshi.

"I dunno. A while, I guess?" Hiroshi shrugged. "I jus' never told you since I didn' want'ta mess everythin' up, y'know? I didn' want Sensei to hate me..."

Handa remained silent for a moment before speaking up, "I don't hate you..." He responded quietly.

Hiroshi could tell Handa was uncomfortable, but he didn't seem like he was lying. His eyes settled on Handa's still red face.

"So how d'you feel 'bout me?" Hiroshi asked softly, leaning in a little closer.

"Uh, well..." Handa flustered a bit and turned his head away.

Maybe Hiroshi shouldn't have been so direct, but if he didn't get an answer soon there was no way getting over Handa would be easy.

"Sensei," Hiroshi said as if to encourage Handa to answer.

Handa's blushing face was so cute, Hiroshi thought. The way that Handa couldn't bring himself to look at Hiroshi in the eye was even cuter. What if there was a slim chance that Handa accepted Hiroshi's confession? It didn't hurt to hope, right? Hiroshi had been thinking about all of this negatively, but now with the truth out and their faces so close, he couldn't help but think up various things.

Maybe Handa would shyly whisper 'I like you too...' and Hiroshi could run his hands through his hair again, whisper in his ear 'I'm glad,' and they could share a slow, sensual kiss. Maybe Handa would be the first to kiss him. Maybe Handa would claim to have been lusting for Hiroshi this whole time, craving his touch every day, but too afraid to admit it. Maybe he'd beg for Hiroshi to take him right then and there, then they could...

"I..." Handa's voice croaked, piercing through Hiroshi's fantasies.

Handa's next words seemed to be caught in his throat and Hiroshi waited with baited breath.

"Sensei!"

The sound of the door sliding open and a shrill voice filled the air.

"Naru..." Handa looked up and in the direction of the commotion.

Naru paused in place for a moment, then glared at Hiroshi. "Hiro-nii, you makin' Sensei cry?" She asked in a surprisingly intimidating voice.

"Naru, we're in the middle of somethin'!" Hiroshi was not in the mood to be battling Naru over Handa's affection at such a critical time. He turned his attention back to Handa, "So?"

"Err..." Handa shrunk back, looking uncomfortable about the question once again.

"Stop bullyin' Sensei!" Naru cried, running up to Hiroshi as she began to pound her fists on his back.

"Get lost!" Hiroshi turned around and shouted.

"Hiro!" Handa shouted as well. "Don't yell at Naru."

Hirosh turned back to face Handa. "But she's..." he gave an annoyed grunt and clicked his tongue. "She's... interrupting us..."

"Grr..." Naru growled as she started pushing against Hiroshi's back.

"Naru," Handa stood up and grabbed her by the wrist. "You should leave Hiro alone as well."

"But he's pickin' on you, ain' he?" She retorted.

"No... We were just having grown-up talk," Handa replied.

Naru grumbled and crossed her arms.

"I think we should talk about this later..." Handa scratched the back of his neck as he directed his gaze towards the ground.

"But, I need an answer!" Hiroshi got up, desperation in his voice. "Sensei... I gotta know how you feel... I..."

Handa finally lifted his head and made eye contact with Hiroshi. "I just really need some time to think about it. Okay? Sorry, Hiro..."

Hiroshi inhaled a deep breath and let out a long sigh. "Alrigh'..."

Hiroshi slowly made his way to the door, slipping on his shoes and sliding the door open.

"Hiro..." He heard Handa's voice speak up again and turned around.

"I'm not mad at you... okay? And I definitely don't hate you," Handa said in a quiet but serious voice.

Hiroshi forced a bit of a smile and nodded, walking out the door.

He didn't feel like going home quiet yet so he went to the small creek that was near Handa's house and found a place to sit. This is where the kids liked to catch crayfish, small fish, and such. Luckily there was no one else there so he could have some time to himself.

It didn't go exactly as he though it would, but he supposed it could've gone worse. He wondered what Handa would've said if Naru hadn't interrupted. Maybe he was pushing Handa too hard to answer the question... No one likes someone that persistent. Did he screw it up? And Handa's reaction to the whole thing was so unreadable.

Hiroshi let out a sigh for what seemed like the millionth time that week.

"At least he doesn' hate me..." He mumbled under his breath.

He supposed now all he could do was wait. But for how long? He knew his mother probably expected him to bring Handa dinner that night. Maybe he could use the excuse of having to write his paper to get out of doing it.

* * *

><p>Hiroshi heard a knocking on his door later that night. He ended up getting out of taking the dinner to Handa's house, so he started working on his paper after all. Although, he got hardly any of it done since he could barely concentrate.<p>

"Yeah?" He answered.

He heard the sound of the doorknob turning and the door swinging open.

"How y'doin, Hiro?" It was his dad.

"Fine, I guess," Hiroshi shrugged.

"Well, I jus' came to say I won' be home in the afternoon tomorrow. I'm takin' Sensei to the airport."

Hiroshi immediately turned around in his chair. "Huh? Why?"

"He's gotta go to Tokyo for a few days. He said it was urgent business," his dad explained.

"Oh..." Hiroshi replied weakly.

"Yeah, he's suddenly leavin' again! I guess Tokyo guys march to the beat of a different drum, eh? His dad was a lot like that too," Mr. Kido chuckled.

"His dad? You knew his dad?" Hiroshi asked curiously.

"Oh, yeah! Me n' Handa Seimei are old friends - he came to the island when he was 'bout Handa-sensei's age as well," his dad nodded, looking nostalgic.

"I didn' know that..." Hiroshi was shocked - he never knew any of this.

"Seimei even got ta hold you when you were a baby! He used to be real bad with kids, y'know. I'm surprised he managed to raise a kid o' his own," his dad chuckled again.

"So I... met Sensei's dad before!?" Hiroshi asked in bewilderment.

"Well, technically, yeah. Although you were only a few days old at the time."

"Huh..." Hiroshi was a bit overwhelmed by all the information.

"Anyway son, its nice to see ya gettin' along with Sensei so well. It really reminds me of when Seimei and I hung out."

"Does it?" Hiroshi asked curiously.

"Yep! Well, maybe because Sensei is so much like his dad at that age... except maybe a little more excitable? But you ain' nothin' like me! Ah... Maybe it ain' the same at all..." Mr. Kido scratched his head.

"Pfft..." Hiroshi let out a small laugh. He knew it definitely wasn't the same - its not like his dad fell in love with Handa's dad... At least he didn't think so.

"Well, I'm sure he'll be back soon, so don' worry," his father continued.

"I-I ain' worried..." Hiroshi mumbled.

"Hm, well Sensei told me to make sure to tell you he was leavin', so I assumed he said that since he thought y'might be worried."

"He... did?" Hiroshi asked.

"Mhm," his father nodded. "Maybe he thought you got all mopey the last time he jus' up n' left."

"I did not!" Hiroshi retorted.

"You did seem pretty down the last time he went to Tokyo..." his fathered continued to tease.

"I wasn'! I gotta get back to my paper," Hiroshi could feel his ears burning and turned back around in his chair.

His father laughed. "Alrigh', study hard!"

Hiroshi heard the sound of his door shutting and let out a low growl. "Damn old man..."

But Handa was leaving for Tokyo, huh? His father said a few days - but what if he ended up staying longer? What if he didn't come back at all?

Handa did make sure Hiroshi knew, though. Maybe... just maybe that meant something? At this point, Hiroshi was welcome to any glimmer of hope over Handa's feelings about him.

He set his head down on his desk that felt cool to the touch on his warm face. Hiroshi wondered how much he'd miss seeing Handa while he was gone. He hadn't even gotten on the plane yet and Hiroshi could feel himself already wanting him to come back.

"I'm a mess, aren' I?" Hiroshi said to himself with a sigh.

He looked at the calligraphy he had gotten that was sitting off to the side of his desk. Lifting his head, he slid it over and he settled his gaze on it. Gently, he followed the strokes of the characters with his finger. He wondered how Handa drew each stroke, what he felt while he was doing it, what he was thinking.

Hiroshi stood up from his chair and dug through his book bag. He really didn't have the correct paper, but it would have to do for now. Luckily, he had ink and brushes in his room that he'd bought from the store when they were on sale. Handa was always immensely grateful when getting supplies, so that was sort of a secret weapon Hiroshi had begun to use.

Lying the piece of paper out in front of him, a fresh brush and bottle of ink to the side of it. Hiroshi stared down in thought for a long time. He hadn't done this outside of art class assignments. And every time he'd get an average grade at most. He wasn't even sure exactly what he was doing or why, but he finally lifted the brush, freshly dipped with ink, and placed it on the blank piece of paper.

* * *

><p><strong>End of Chapter.<strong>

Another longer but pretty important chapter! Now that everything is out in the open... what will happen next?

I decided to look up the characters in Hiroshi's (浩志) name and the character for 'hiro' (浩) is used to mean something along the line of things that are vast, broad, or all-consuming. Although they are not pronounced the same in these contexts, I imagine that what Handa drew was one of these phrases. If I knew Japanese better I'd probably be able to give a more unique answer to that. ^^;

Anyway, thank you so much for reading and your kind words! See you next time ~ :*


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